The first Smurf kill of many this season, I hope! #BeatLA

If there ever was a time for the Giants to snap back into reality, it’s tonight. #BeatLA

Every day, yes.

If I were to tell you that green leaves were causing me to cough and make my eyes turn red, that would be due to allergies.

Can A Guy In A Bear Suit Commit Insurance Fraud?

The Giants/Nationals game has gone into extra innings and Joey Weimer just came in to pinch run and every time I hear his name my MST3K brain goes 🎵 It’s Joey the Weimer! 🎵

Logan has some troubles, but then Schmitt happens! 💣

I can say that Chilly Goo Bear just went deep and not look (too) weird! 💣

Ramos just passed legislation in DC! 💣

Maybe the point of no return started when SportsCenter started covering the WWE.

The benefit of being a late riser is that you sleep through (most of) Bluesky’s problems.

I always forget that today is tax day because I’m a simple man with very few forms and I get them done in February.

I am a born procrastinator, but if there has to be anything that I’m shockingly early to get finished, business with the IRS is a good choice.

Adames cuts the deficit! 💣

On October 13, 1981, PM Magazine Chicago aired a television report known as "Pac-Mania Invades Chicago"

The coverage elaborated on the revolutionary success of Pac-Man as well as all the moving parts (gameplay and machine mechanisms alike) that make the game tick.

Seeing puberty take effect on him in the final season is a reminder why Disney Channel sitcoms are designed to have a short production lifespan.

Gotta catch one!

A few more jackpots on my final call would’ve been nice, but I’ll still take the results.

I fell short due to a poor ball two, but I still get hardware anyways! And second place has Pikachu!

It’s yellow and blue, close enough.

Might as well make the tourney socially official with a (generic) launch party badge.

One of two premiums now in town.

You can’t spell Premium without Pika! (Don’t verify that.)

The trophies up for grabs.

Git in mah belleh!

Pokémon launch party time! Also big greasy burger in the AM time!

S51E17? The dude has sketch comedy chops. And much like the astronaut sketch, his sincere message at the end was cut off abruptly. Life imitates art. #BelatedSNLTweets

Most will probably enjoy the parody, but I appreciate the "In Stereo Where Available" more. #BelatedSNLTweets

Is flootytwo greater than or less than eleventy-teen? #BelatedSNLTweets

It's been a while since we've had a "weirdos at a funeral" sketch, but at least the grampa was a ho twist is new. #BelatedSNLTweets

Is it a good thing or a bad thing that a sex expert's main tip is doowutchyalike? #BelatedSNLTweets

It's juvenile, but I'll take some easy "deez nutz" jokes every time. I'm simple. #BelatedSNLTweets

Despite the missed direction, that was a nice silly sketch. Not the best, but it was mindless. #BelatedSNLTweets

I would say that you haven't made it until you've been impersonated on SNL, but it's not necessary if you've been visiting the moon. #BelatedSNLTweets

"Astronauts to the moon? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

*writes note* clap clap clap clap clap #BelatedSNLTweets

I can totally picture Bowen being one of those fashion weirdos. And I'm not surprised Jane played the normie. #BelatedSNLTweets

I am over 30, some could consider me creepy, but I don't watch Euphoria. And seriously, even after listing his résumé I still don't know who he is. #BelatedSNLTweets

But hey, camera time for Leon!

I suppose the necessary news catchup can't be any more ridiculous than what's actually being stated by heads of state on social media. #BelatedSNLTweets