Bweeegh!

I can make it make sense right after I turn dustbunnies into platinum.

Yep. That's a husky. If 'I do what I want' was the premise of a dog breed...that's them.

I could be wrong, but...hiiistorically, wasn't illness and disease a big cause of death for folk at war?

I mean, we can mostly handle the flu these days ('cause of vaccines, right?), but morale in the ranks is already at a low.

I don't see the logic here. Even if I was drunk—doesn't make sense.

/The/ most appropriate of shirts for the occasion!

Those are stressful. You and someone else mentioned the back seat thing... That one has happened recently, and someone who couldn't drive was in the driver's seat, freakin' out. I had to somehow drive from back there whilst they flailed and screamed. There was a cliff... What're you sayin', Anxiety?

Everything about this photo is awesome—the context, the backdrop, that shirt...

...giggling a lot at that shirt, 'cause I'd wear it for so many situations:

Night out, breaking every pallet on a truck, doctor's appointment...

*sniff sniff.* This smells like a man who needs to go before the oversight committee. If I understand this right, he's holding on to funds related to crimes...?

I love how mischievous she looks. She knows she's whippin' up something magical, her hand guided by otherwordly influence.

I am devastated by this news.

For me, I cry just seeing a dog...any dog...in any context. Then I go, 'Ruh roh,' and get enough cheese to last me a week.

All I see is that whatever was involved in the cost of the previous deal was only wasted when he decided to tear it up and make it worse. So, not only are we paying more—in lives, diplomatic standing, and logistics on top of all the damn money—but now it's a SNAFU.

Happy birthday!

I am actually thinking of the moment where I decided I liked it... But to yap, I'd spoil. So... Not sure where you are in it, but I am looking forward to what you think once you're done.

I'll sit and screech and caw. Pay me in cheese, if y'like, but I'm really in it to pad my résumé.

Just had a fantasy of going to my friend's house and giving her this certificate and being like, 'Yon kitty has been ordained.'

(Wondering if it's unethical to ordain someone else's cat.)

Winner. I cackled.

Help. My heart has melted. The levy of my eyes may break. I can't handle this...

Part of my brain is screaming at the very notion of 'drought in Florida' with a kind of animal terror.

What, exactly, does he think he should be doing...?

I immediately thought how pissed Starscream would be to hear this, 'cause being the most pitiful Decepticon is all he has goin' for 'im.

...the next time I'm at the library, I will ask them if they have the large print 'War and Peace,' just...just for the novelty of holding it for a minute.

I identify muchly with the dainty ass tomatoes.

I burst out laughing at this. I may use it as a random greeting for my bestie.

Harold. Something about flapping a human skin to lay it out like a bedsheet...

Yep. Nope. Nope nope nope.

Service interruption in the reginos really impacted my back end expulsion processes.

You also have a lovely day, Tom!

It would be so much easier to explain the state of my abode if I had a cat.

Ooor...my house is set up for a cat. Aaany minute now, CDS...

I'm actually impressed with how The Onion keeps up.

What's ticklin' me is that TMZ is like, 'Wait—what're we doin'?! /We/ do scandals! Look at all these scandals! D.C., here we come!'

This is...so stupid...that I went to the source to see if he really posted that... It reads like mockery, like satire...

(He did. It's real.)