I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays with their loved ones🫶🏼 forgot this app existed for a second there lolol

Bro at work today I hit my head on a too low hanging chandelier and then a metal shelf fell on my head. All within like 25 minutes.

I already have 5 shows planned for next year oh my 😭

Gave myself an over the counter concoction and can finally breathe again thank god

I’m sick affff

My parents got married today

About to shred 3LBS OF CHEESE LETS GOOO

here is Arizona in case anyone was wondering

The high was 77 today I hate it here

Friendsmasgiving gonna go so hard tonight

IF YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW IS AT APOCALYPSE PLEASE BOOST TO HELP ME FIND MY TINY CHEF 😭💔

Drop your lockscreen 🎃

Actually, in France male athletes wear jacquestraps to protect their oui ouis

🌱

omg you’ve been sprouted!! pass it along!

here's my 128-page dissertation on how eating bread until there's no more room to breathe can temporarily cure grief

I hope you guys are ok with seeing my art at least once a week 🥹💜✨

corporate ravers !

your day job vs your last show

at the office vs Goldrush

11:11

Everyone is like yaaayyy 3 day work week but I work Sat - Weds I don’t get no extra time off this week lmao

Bro no way I have to cook for 2 thanksgiving this year when did I grow up

I just started watching modern family and I can’t believe I’ve been missing out for so long

Princess Polly !

Gotta be this one

Just saw the new gladiator and I love Pedro Pascal even more now, didn’t think that was possible

A very fluffy brown cat with bright green eyes stares loving at the camera while she waits to be let out of a bathroom

The cat in question:

I haven’t used the bathroom alone since I got my cat 4 years ago, wbu

The sign ❤️‍🔥 The face

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.