Imagine a friend calling you and saying, “you’re not in trouble.”

This person is insane.

Infinitely cooler than this coffee cup.

bsky.app/profile/niko...

No, they were flush during the last one. Not the 2015 one. Only possible answer.

This is also how/why they beat the Seahawks in the 2015 Super Bowl.

Best boss I ever had.

Get a grip, goofy.

WTF?

This explains why Marketplace is the best program it airs.

What’s next, Hurricane?

I keep getting texts from my local health district because, last week, I was at the same restaurant at the same time as a person with a now-confirmed case of measles. In the year 2026.

Nothing funnier than being confidently wrong.

My wife is such a busybody, she gets like 15,000 a day without trying.

My son’s fifth grade teacher did away with all technology this year. They never even use computers. He’s had such a great year.

Yeah, they’re blocking everyone who points it out.

I know.

This is fake.

It's fake.

It's fake.

It's fake.

This is fake.

It's also fake.

It's fake.

Two huge containers for $9.99.

Costco carries plain Ellenos now, and I make several trips a month there just for it.

I’ve felt this, but I’ve been reading a lot about how important it is for kids’ development for them to be “bored” and have to entertain themselves. It’s only been in the last 70 years or so that adults even paid children much attention at all.

Like…not entertaining the kids enough?

The forsythia is risen.

When I was 12 my buddies and I did rock, paper, scissors to see who’d go into B. Dalton’s and try to buy the Kama Sutra. I lost when I gave the cashier the book, I said, “I’m 18.” She replied, “I don’t care,” and then rang me up.

Had a buddy who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. He said he loved all the unrefridgerated street food but always felt he was tempting fate.