There's a Super Secret Way that requires gang signs, a few Hail $TECH_BILLIONAIREs, and making a pentagram out of Sweet Baby Rays

"But about that day, hour, or Unix locale no one knows, not even the engineers in heaven, nor the CISO, but only root, UID 0."

Does the Rapture run on UTC?

user: how do i get all the aws lambda functions running EOL versions of nodejs?
helpful ai assistant: [source code to terminate-aws-account-and-go-to-the-pub.sh]

I’m waiting for the first postmortem that says 'oops, I listened to Anthropic and now we don’t have a company anymore'

grep 'ship$' /usr/share/dict/words | sed 's/ship/shit/g' # you're welcome

at this point I'm only hearing "leadershit"
very little leading, a whole lot of shit

🥵

op1@lappy~$ aprod
perhaps see a therapist
op1@lappy~$

we are all oncall-ogists

appreciate the honesty

Imagine if kubernetes admissions webhook controllers were called pod stems

The path to good logging is paved with the frustration of being an admin

FUCK I LOVE STRACE!!!

😭

FEDRAMP wasn't a suggestion 🔪

Stay indoors, damn. Never leave. Hoard toilet paper. Buy Kirkland whiskey in 3 liter bottles

"I'm not bad at this job, this job is bad at me"

op1: in the case of HTTP-based localhots, just make sure you're giving the right headers

eng1: I mean, I'd settle for a "get your crown chakra out of your root chakra" plan

eng1: dear self, it's localhost, not localhots
eng1: very different, not work appropriate

Hahahaha it's always a Jenkins box

WE HAVE AI-POWERED GARBAGE TRUCKS, LET'S LAY OFF ALL THE SANITATION WORKERS

Wait.

Someone, somewhere, approved pushing a software update to live on December 24th?

Is that even legal? It seems like it should be a crime. It's definitely a moral offense. It's very nearly a sin against God.

really now