Gavin Newsom in 2029:

Operation Means Tested Anger will ensure continued I̶s̶r̶a̶e̶l̶i̶ American security as we try and wind down the war President Trump started. For that effect I have authorized an additional 10,000 troops to be deployed to the Green Zone in Tehran.

Let's put all our recycling out in paper bags when there's 20 mph wind.

I was promised compete Mid-Atlantic destruction and it is slightly raining.

I'll hang out in Iraq for 6 months but I absolutely do not want to get shot at - Da Conscious Objecter

That movie was bad but you think it was good. The harshest struggle of our times.

Beware the guys of march

Father has decided to start using "OMG" and "Yay" in his texts for some reason.

Day whatever of the special combat undertaking.

"I never watch YouTube why do I pay for premium I'm canceling it"

*two days later sitting in my car*

"Why does my YouTube Music have ads?"

She only bangs him Amazon style.

The Pitt fans think it's a real ER with a camera in it.

There was a non-combat explosion on the poop deck of the Gerald Ford. "Poop everywhere."

The leasing company brought the property owner by today to have a look around and he's a bald mustache millenial and not some boomer. Disturbing.

Walking through a sunlit park and screaming "you are not a vibe bro" until I am escorted out by bike cops.

Harden your heart, Oh Khamenei. Increase your attacks.

They're demolesting the money. It's normal again.

The World Baseball Classic, also known as the Israeli Humiliation Ritual, was a 21st century sporting event played during the 200 Years' War.

The device has been turned off without incident.

It's nice today and all but They also decided to set up a droning Havana Sundrome device outside my house so unfortunately I am going to have to make the news.

The Pittt: Very Serious Issues are present in society. Only the hottest doctors can ameliorate some of them.

Survived

Hungover riding the train backwards.

Ballet, much like Hollywood, mostly serves as a child abuse mill. Not sure about opera.

The soccer world treats Messi like a special needs kid who is never responsible for his actions.

3:47 time to lock in and do some work.

4 person throw up scene in Righteous Gemstones Jesus Christ.

Operation Epstein Fuhrer

I would have turned it off normally but I was blessed with a nearly empty plane. My flight back was full and I picked a movie with a surprise stripper scene and wanted to slide through the floor.

I watched 28 Years Later on a plane not knowing about the huge zombie penis. Afterwards I figured I was already in too deep so I watched Sinners.

In 2024 someone decided that "submental" was a nicer way to say retarded and now you see the word used incorrectly 30 times a day.