this is one of my favourite lil comparisons between Silent Hill and Resident Evil, specifically the Chris-and-Jill-side of Resident Evil where everything needs to be cut and dry bc they are out here trying to murder bad guys. "but how did that bad guy feel?" that's Leon's burden to carry
I think especially as I exist in a context where I must be decisive irl (cornered into this position by racists, fascists, bitches in charge) Silent Hill becomes this weirdly cathartic humanist emulator where I can safely say "oh yeah it's complicated" without suffering irl violence about it
the entire Silent Hill series would be easier if things were that simple, but they arent. I love how the temptation to view things as cut and dry not only ruins the ability to comprehend SH but emulates the same issues that the series is based on. it's tempting to see a grey world in black and white
but the reality is that SH2 is not actually That, my feelings make it That. the game tells a story of flawed people making complex choices and suffering complicated psychological consequences. it is absolutely not useful simplify SH2 into identity politics. it is thematic though
when people started being (un)subtly racist/misogynistic about SHf I suddenly started getting very heated about SH2. I flattened SH2 out of spite because people were not giving the same respect (bc media literacy is respect) to a teenaged Japanese girl as they were a white American man. annoying!
when I play the games, I engage with them in a particular way - often leading with understanding, grace. when others weigh in, my emotions get the better of me and my perception distorts. the same game viewed through two clearly different emotional states reaps different readings.
mmm Silent Hill is so good. sometimes my reads of it become little Silent Hills of their own. let me explain! (slight spoilers)
I told my boss I'd be able to finish smth in four days and I should have been able to but those same four days saw an opportunity to set the stage for movement-building that will benefit all my work in the longterm... it's just not what I said I'd do and it isn't what I'm paid for 😑
accomplished a bunch with my community organising at the expense of my day job 😒 ugh. why can I not just be rewarded for doing cool and good things! why must there always be consequences
I read it last night. pretty horrifically gay already. but I know some little queer bastard has made it worse
idk if folks know this but about a decade ago, shortly before I won a short story competition I got really into Overwatch fic. I didn't play Overwatch, I was just kinda enamoured by Gabriel Reyes (duh). and then in the months afterwards I got published in a regional anthology and won $4000.
during a work call someone told me that they are white but have been raised by an Indigenous mother and I reflexively responded "oh! well that explains why talking to you doesn't make me want to kill myself" aha ha! I don't know if I can trust how well my filter is working these days
you know the kind of insulated people get where they're like "dont be rude to employees they're underpaid" and you have to remind them like. dont be rude to people in general? weird ways that people treat basic courtesy like charity metered out to the deserving. u dont need a praxis brother be nice
hehe! I participated in a webinar and multiple people remarked that my reflections made them realise how eurocentric their worldviews were, and that it changed how they thought about their actions. by jove we are defeating racism one zoom call at a time
top of mind are Full Metal Alchemist. Pluto. I dont want to mention One Piece but I guess I should. I'm making a point of reading Witch Hat Atelier only on paper which is fucking expensive endeavour and I only have vol 1. but worth it bc the ink on paper makes me want to cry. it's immersive and good
still pining after an ereader (specifically a kobo libra colour) after I realised that the main thing stopping me from reading manga is that all my devices for reading are connected to internet (and physical books arent available to me) no I can't watch anime but I can read a series in one sitting!
From One Piece Volume 29
kobo libra colour you entice me
they do!
@ItsBCJim The bad part of getting older is that you become an NPC, the good part is that being an NPC rocks. Nothing like walking down the street with a thought bubble that's just a sandwich you're looking forward to. Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane
literally never been in a worse financial position to decide to go down the ebook rabbit hole but anyways we are window shoppin
NOT EVEN STARTING ON THE QUEER BIT......... BUT ANYWAY
it's the 'you're in the colonial cradle trying to make positive change and you're technically the enemy but you're also privileged enough to enter the space where you're the peer and no one knows how to act when you put all that together' effect. amplified by a culture that doesn't understand nuance
I do think it's my responsibility to meet people halfway HOWEVER this strange token position of being both a guest of honour and wildly dehumanised in quiet, backhanded ways is. bad! so I'm trying to write more about my specific context to unpack it. maybe improve it. hopefully improve it
it is really easy to point out racially-charged settings when it's Loudly Bad but people around me still cannot seem to identify the constant, dire psychic damage of being such a minority in a space that you become subhuman... while working with those same people towards human rights causes. icky
they won't humanise me, but they but require my approval to proceed, because I legitimise the space by being a token. they won't respect me or my knowledge, they won't treat me like a peer, but they platform me with strange reverence. they're talking about solar panels. I'm talking about nuclear war
I am talking about the intersection of war, racism and climate. but I am operating in mostly-white mostly-corporate environments where they Only want me to talk about the latter, and they blanch if I mention the other two. they don't know how to connect it. so I am constantly dulled
