apparently one of them glued his feet to the floor so security couldn't remove him

some protesters wouldn't stop yelling and the match has been stopped for like a half hour

how did introverts deal with loneliness before computers don't say alcoholism

lol yes more of that attitude re: work pleeeease

Judas is such a cool name it sucks that no one can use it

ok I need to see what she has to say haha

can someone tell me how to get money without having to be beautiful or good at math

wish I could prescribe people medication based on what I think is wrong with them

why does every grooming product for men come in the form of a blue gel

rubbing my phone like a magic lamp then opening hinge

shhhhhh this is a library

always is!

the local children are chanting something unintelligible and I’m filled with a primal fear

I don't seek out opportunities to make stupid decisions but if they are presented to me well

I like to leave things up to greater powers

feel drunk but I’m not I’m just walking without headphones on

Debra doesn't need to worry about things like this

omg

at the end of the day it is really only the sweetness that matters

most jokes aren't funny. you know what's funny? dogs, the stuff they do

exactly

"it's in the google doc" what google doc I'll kill you

crazy how someone can send you a picture of your 'doppelgänger' and ruin your day

should I be crazy or normal during this new moon still deciding

🙃

every august I go crazy

you can say crazy things to a libra and they will be like mhmm. k.

sure I will Go Ahead And Do That

David Duchovny are you out there

fav this post if you agree: butter on toast