If anybody needs help looksmaxing, I have a sledge hammer and a sense of humor

I keep wondering what my Iranian friends think about Trump's warning today that a 'whole civilization will die' if the Iranian regime doesn't open the Strait. It no longer sounds like anyone in the admin ever cared about the Iranian people to begin with - & now they've become targets of both sides.

I’ve never threatened anyone with a war crime on Easter but I hear that’s the Christian thing to do these days. You guys are getting wild.

Turns out the art of the deal is neither.

All the folks I know that are great at something do it everyday, rain, sleet, or snow whether anybody cares or not -and they've been showing up and doing it their whole lives. So whatever you're doing, if you enjoy it, don't stop. You are already winning. Most people give up by lunch.

Let’s normalize having different opinions without being labeled an ‘enemy of the state.’

How’s that “lower prices on day one” thing going for everyone?

I’ll start: shitty.

I don’t blame Trump for saying what he said about Mueller. I’m going to say the same thing about him when he ☠️

“The dumbest person you know is currently being told ‘you’re absolutely right’ by ChatGPT.”

-fav truism floating around out there rn

At this point, what does being MAGA even mean? It's like 'opposites day' every 15 minutes.

I don’t think they anticipated significantly higher gas and grocery prices after Operation Epstein Fury -& it’s just getting going. I hope they’re prepared for the midterms.

I sleep well at night knowing that at least the oil companies are going to be ok.

If I were Hegseth, I’d be a little more worried about the killing children part and a little less worried about an unflattering camera angle.

I just want to know one thing from the state of the union; where is our f-ing money and release the Epstein files.

I’ve been watching the state of the union fall apart for over a year -along with everybody else. What’s one more night of lies?

It sucks that the worst dudes that everybody hated in high school are now running the show -only they’re still emotionally in high school.

Dexter would have worked his way through the Epstein list already.

According to the Taco Supreme Court, the Epstein Administration owes us all $1000 and an apology. I’m sure the PDF in Thief will get right on that right after he’s through handing 10 billion of your $ over to the Bored of Peace.

There aren’t enough margaritas in the world for this.

I feel sorry for cheeseburgers at the White House today.

As a musician or songwriter, if you’re not familiar with what music AI programs like Suno can do, you’re woefully unprepared for what’s coming next. Words like “Unsettling” and “disruptive” are massive understatements. I begrudgingly encourage you to check it out.

Hopefully in a decade we’re all going to look back and cringe at all the narcissism (myself included). But until then, please like, subscribe and dont forget to buy my naked mastering engineer calendar.

Margaritas up!

The Dow is below 50k again. Can we talk about PDF files and their victims again? Or is it too soon?

Today, Pam Bondi essentially said that no one cares about PDF files and their victims as long as billionaires are making money. I think she & her boss are sorely mistaken but I’m sure the Epstein class agreed.

51% of all internet traffic is now bots. Remember that the next time you argue with "somebody" in the comments.

Wait until the people who are upset about the half time show find out about the Trump Epstein files.

Who would have guessed (besides non cult members) that QAnon would end up being team Epstein? Truth is stranger than fiction.

Bad Bunny! That was fun. Proud to be an American!

This world would suck so hard right now without tunes. Keep that in mind peeps. We need you now more than ever.

Military service members were told to watch the Melania movie, I’m guessing to boost the streaming numbers? Wow. You know you’re really popular when it’s an order -on tax payers dime no less.

One of these things is not like the other…

Release the Trump-Epstein files