“Had a sandy threesome once, made it my whole personality.”

What I think whenever I see a Burning Man bumper sticker.

You are correct and I do still think that. But honestly, that’s a short hand more about balancing acidity. I’m sure that you could juice very sweet oranges and turn that on its head.

But the third thing that gets us all is packaging, specifically aspirational packaging.

We’ll pick up a bottle and be like “ooo, I want to be a part of this.”

And what the “this” is, will it’s just a slick design firm, bulk glass from China, and maybe something ok actually inside the bottle.

To wit, the recent Cointreau ad about using “any tequila” don’t seem to land but it was so accurate. It does do more for a margarita than EVERY tequila.

And the closer in cost and quality a cocktail’s components are, generally the better it will be.

Then liquor stores will pretend that it’s ok to mix these products.

Which is like a mechanic fixing your car with duct tape or microwaving a steak.

Liquor stores sell products in a quality range so wide that no other business (or customer) would accept it.

It would be like going to a car dealership that sells Yugos and Bentleys or a computer store that also has an abacus aisle.

There is a lot of good stuff too. But most anytime I see trash in someone’s liquor cabinet it comes down to 3 things, 2 of which I blame on liquor stores, and there’s a third other thing to which we are all susceptible.

Housesitting for a tech friend who wants me to reorganize and streamline their home bar while they are gone.

Many of my tech friends have the most batshit home bars. This one includes 2 different kirshwassers and bottle of a top 5 worst gins I’ve ever had.

I see Republicans are very much in favor of DEI when it comes to digital blackface. Oh, NOW you want to include us, huh? But not on the jobsite, right?

Best of luck with those midterms.

San Francisco be like “if this billboard makes you horny, maybe you’ll fire 1/3 of your staff.”

Life is a spectrum

And god help you if you use a Spotify playlist

If it’s all dudes add women, too straight make it gayer, all hits add b-sides, all old people jams then ask a youth, all ephemeral young musicians then I promise you an old-head would love to suggest stuff.

Bob Dylan mumbling something? Let Odetta mumble too.

Got som Tom Waits? Add a Patti Smith.

Look at yourself, this what am I not, add that to your playlist.

Bartenders: put gay stuff on your playlists.

It’s a flavor of saying “you gotta try the new cocktail: the espresso martini.”

What people don’t know about the Hyptotic revival being extra cringe is that is started like four years ago and it’s just now being written about.

Not mentioning awards, ugh, such a flex.

An Emmy on a shelf with junk.

Housesitting for a dude I’ve known for 15 years. He never mentioned his Emmy once.

Ticketmaster is a monopoly?

The Pope needs to that these threats from JD Vance seriously. He’s got a record.

Someday we'll look back on this and laugh. Because we'll be The Joker.

when someone calls the pope soft on crime

Duh, I don’t watch a lot of sports but I would have thought this went the way of “halftime beers.”

Charmed to see all the gold chains on the players at bat during this Giants v Oriole game.

It’s a sport in which you can still wear jewelry.

Writing a modern country song

“Grandma’s got a barbed wire tattoo”

Trinity of fixing kiosk food.

It’s supposed to be a conversation starter.