RFK Jr talks like a spirit box

DONT pmo rn don’t pmo omg don’t pmo rn stop don’t pmo rn i stg dont pmo rn omg

Yall better like these up

My main goal is to blow up and then act like I don’t know nobody 🦈🦈🦈🦈

Pickled onion superiority

Can I sue 21 pilots for brain damage

I love my iPhone

If the Taco Bell worker making my food is sober I don’t want it. Same with pizza.

I love swiffer wet jets

Shoutout to the cricket that jumped on my face last night; I think about you every time I close my eyes.

If you don’t save the box of every Apple product you get there is something wrong with you

Nothings funnier than making fun of someone with a rlly bright phone

My favorite thing about getting in and out is talking about how good it is

I lowkey get personal gratification when I see like E. coli recalls on meat #imbetterthanyou #vegetarian4liferrrr

Instead of a war on Christmas it’s a war on blue Powerade

Ik it’s off putting but sometimes wearing a pair of jeans under a blanket just knocks me out