That we have allowed cars—and predominantly single passenger cars—to dominate the way we build our cities and structure our lives ought be a real source of shame.

Too tired for video games

What have I become

“Oh Noel that’s so fun” I say as he hacks off the worst baker’s facial hair to throw onto the immense bonfire that powers the entire set. The other contestants laugh through their tears.

On this week’s bake off the contestants are in for a challenge as we’ve switched all the sugar for salt and the flour for tiny flesh-eating nanobots! Teehee

Dating red flag: they suggest meeting at grill’d

should i continue mutely staring at this powerpoint file for what feels like the ninth consecutive hour or should i move on to do something marginally more productive

“Sorry man, my secret cane cable is only lightning.”

Oh just going for a promenade with my cane

We ought bring back dandy-style canes.

While spring mostly means hay fever and warmer weather (boo both) there is something delightful about watching nature explode back into life.

Roman history books tell you all about this complex liberty-based political system of checks and balances and then proceed to "Brutus Maximus was not allowed to be consul so he made up the job of superconsul 2 and then bribed everyone in Rome until it was real. Cicero was mad"

Walking the dog downwind of a smoker is wretched.

The fact that people drink tea right before bed is wild to me.

In any sane world this would be the end of Gavin Newsom as a serious democratic politician. We of course do not live in that kind of world

The orange pro is by far the ugliest thing Apple has ever made. And as a fan of orange things this hurts me.

Aluminium seems worse than titanium tho???

“Camera plateau” 😂

Stop trying to be to qualify unique! There are no degrees of uniqueness. It’s an absolute adjective.

Golly that sure is a thin phone

I love bonding at the atomic level 👀

I love when my watch face plays whimsical animations.

These cook era Apple event videos have no cool footage of robots making stuff anymore. Give me the cnc machine milling aluminium ingots! The people crave such things.

Apple will never abandon their bento slides seemingly

RFK is the only person able to properly talk like that creepy text that y̵̲̹̲͌͜o̶̻͠ȗ̵͍̓ ̸̞̏ͅh̵̡̗͈̥̅a̷͇̍̊͝v̶̺͕̲͑̐ê̵̥̪ ̵̻̫̪̝̓̿ţ̵̂͋́̿ͅȯ̵͍͙̪ ̵̨̳̞̼͒g̴͚̰͆͝ǫ̴͖̫̼̇̇̆͠ ̶̡̡͓̩̾ẗ̸̛͉͌͝o̷̬̣̠̍̊̋ ̵̫̜̼̾̒͛a̸̤͒̿ͅ ̵̬̀̈́ẉ̸̦͙̀ḛ̵̲͇͓͗b̴̟̪͋̂ș̸͎̻͈͋̀i̴̛̟̞̽̀t̶̙̻̳͋ẹ̸̦̗̀͊͌ ̸̙̈́͠t̷̙̦͓̾ö̴̬̺́͒ ̶̨̰̜̋̽ṫ̵͚̝̖̎͜y̴̞̮͊̆p̴̖̫̚ě̸̢̻͍̈́ ̷̳̖͙̾̔͗ō̵̤̱ù̸̢̐͝t̴̰̻̦̎̃̅.̴̛̮͓̣̱̈́

I love when my headphones tell me I’m on the longest walk of the month 🙃

I find wearing my AirPods is the most conductive to conversation with strangers, especially across different languages.

Oh it’s the bizarre arm gestures again I cannot even with these people

It’s actually pronounced AirsPods Pro, Tim.

The event video opens with a video on shapes which in typical Apple fashion is quite masturbatory.

I cannot see Tim Cook now without imaging him assembling the bizarre offering to the us dictator.