Rage room?
You mean my bedroom?

Memorial tattoo for my dad

Gently scratched my healing tattoo through my pants and accidentally triggered an orgasm.

I would really like to access the advanced settings menu for the human body because what the hell?!!

Righteous Rep. Raskin is on point.

That will be your legacy. Not law and order. Not justice served. Not protecting children.

History remembers who shielded the powerful and buried the truth while survivors waited.

That’s the stain. We, the people, are watching.

It’s kinda wack that the president of Puerto Rico is also a racist pedophile

Pam Bondi saying “Donald Trump is coming to save you” is like being told your drink is safe because Bill Cosby is watching it. 🙄

not a great day for people who like regular bowls

Yes! He is in the giant cauldron

Kid Rocks genre is: untreated chlamydia

It’s where the bad bunny goes

kid rock makes music for people that get pregnant at the county fair

Genre: syphilis revival

three witches are preparing a potion in a cauldron in a room . ALT: three witches are preparing a potion in a cauldron in a room .

Yes,child. Come join us

I have no idea how people found out the coven and I are stirring a giant cauldron, cursing the Patriots in government, and sacrificing a Bad Bunny to the gods to be carried off by a hawk of the sea—but we’re definitely going to need more snacks.

Why go out and hate people when I can stay home and hate people

Just had the same conversation. I’ll probably be watching a crime documentary later

Am I getting pizza and wings delivered?

Yes.

Are they for watching the game?

What game?

I’m team Bad Bunny.

I sent a man a winky emoji today. Do not ever try that unless you’re serious

I really need to stop giving them away so freely

Excuse me, kind sir, could you spare a fuck? I seem to have spent my last one on something frivolous.

I’m not even sorry

Your account is a fuckin mess.
*followed*

I told my husband if I ever ask for a puppy again, he’s legally required to bite me 700 times, destroy my shoes, and shit on the floor while maintaining eye contact.

I wish I was the person I was when I packed my lunch this morning.

My favorite thing about JD Vance is that nobody likes him

Every single German TV station refers to Trump as an actual fascist and compares him to Hitler…

Every. Single. One. 😎✨