Would you like big cake?

Divorce

An extra 30% of ftagh just opened up to you

A cat in a photo shoot, looking incredibly serious, a big glass of wine on a table: "Undiagnosed... but something ain't right."

A drawing of a realistic dog wearing a tie saying; "I need to lock in and prove that I am capable. I need to be taken seriously." While a drawing of a cartoon dog says; "I need to stay silly and whimsical lest I lose the very essence of myself." Perpetrating an endless cycle

Endless cycle

What else do you expect from the monster fucker site?

Also me, when drunk, 5 seconds before reciting the jabberwocky backwards

I'm high as shit and ready to say it. Cross stitch is embroidery for cowards

Nine years I've been in the uk, never actually had someone say to me "you're not from round here". Until I moved to a new town this week and I've had it twice

When I was a kid my brother used to refer to me as "Mongoose". No idea why, but I have a lasting affection for them because of it.

Close up of branding on a plastic container that says "Chad Valley"

The Virgin Islands vs the

I have tried to find the lucky fifth can for so long. I am so tired.

Don't forget the e-shand

The Baker's Delight theme is recognised as a torture device in seventeen countries

"Going to Melbourne? Who cares?"

Evergreen

I mean, haemophilia is just interesting. I remember mymum telling me about it when I was about 11, including all those details. This guy should find it extra interesting, considering his son has it.

In your area

I was recently informed that Kyle didn't die three years ago like I thought. Devo.

Cass and Kon should never have been a couple but I'm down for her making a fool of him.

Although that's not Batwoman. It's Cass, aka Orphan/Black Bat

Aunt and nephew. I'm a Kon is Clark's son truther.

Living in the uk has radicalised me against all things blackcurrant

Q: What is Sinners about? A: America’s inability to discuss its complex racial history without bringing the Irish into things.

What To Know About ‘Sinners’ https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-sinners/

The God-Emperor of Mankind is a solid #2 pick for Worst Dad in Science Fiction, but i feel like Worf still clinches the title.

The kid had bad vibes

Only if the person reading the audiobook and the person playing it were both believers

very strange to me that everyone doesn’t just simply perform tasks in the manner I decided was natural and correct as a small child dealing with trauma and neglect

I can’t even begin to imagine how embarrassing it must be to be heterosexual, like, yikes. I’d want to keep that shit to myself. 😬

The ticker across the top of the Onion site just now said "prostate honked" and I think I'll be rotating that phrase in my head for a while.