The United States would never invade the United States. Not enough oil.

Because rich people mainline oil.

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My guess is most of the people that would go are also terrified of dying soon after seeing Vance.

Racist. You forgot racist.

Don’t forget that he killed a pope. No wonder Leo turned down his invitation.

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It’s got a death curse!

The Iranians took offense when JD Vance was caught doing unspeakable things to the couch in the waiting area. I mean, a man has needs.

He does have one redeeming quality. He is mortal, so one day he will become the world’s most celebrated corpse.

Maybe we will be lucky enough to see him become the Rest in Peace President.

Today?

I, for one, definitely believe the voracity any memory that “worms” its way out of the brain of RFK Jr.

Gas so nice you pay for it twice!

…but he recently said that his approval rates are at 100%. No one has ever had higher approval ratings. He is setting records every day for approval ratings.

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Racist is as racist does.

It is because Trump doesn’t plan on conducting diplomacy anymore.

Oh, for fucks’ sake.

If Iran really wanted to twist the knife, they would announce to the world that they will only negotiate in good faith with Obama.

“Impossible. Every good MAGA knows that liberals are created in a lab like Frankenstein’s monster. The movie version, because books turn people gay, and probably trans, that is why we ban them. Unless it is Art of the Deal! Wait… what were we talking about?”

MAGA, probably.

Explain how this is breaking when it was first reported last year.

Was the answer, “Straight to hell for all I care!”

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Putin: “Who taught you this?”

Trump: “You, alright? I learned it from watching you.”

Everyday is a new miracle of idiocy. It must be difficult for fiction writers to create drama in this climate as even reality seems farcical.

I’ve been confused about what exactly constitutes irony. The Alanis Morissette song didn’t help. I think I get it now after watching two women in a workplace blame women in the workplace for society’s ills.

The weirdest game night ever starts with the question, “if teleportation is invented tomorrow and you are asked to be the first to use it, where would you teleport?”

This statement is incorrect. Absolutely false. Could not be further from the truth.

There is no middle class anymore.

I think that social graces may be lost on a child rapist.

He is also shown himself, prior to Trump, to be a racist.