I’m just saying we SEE the One Ring change size to fit on the hands of different bearers so HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING there’s nothing to stop the ring from resizing itself to function as a cock ring

The harpsichords have declared for the Proletariat my lord.

I smoke myself to sleep and blame her smile and things I can’t relate
Like summer camp, and costal states
Like alcohol and coffee beans
Dance floors and magazines
I think it’s safe to say
I’ve only got myself to blame

Made myself important at work why didn’t I listen to the wise men’s fables

I have far too much ambition when I set alarms for the morning

Also growing my hair long has helped me realize the depth of emotion that led them to write “where is my hairbrush”

Revisiting media that helped indoctrinate me as a child out of curiosity and Veggie Tales did in fact have bangers. Whoever wrote Larry’s songs should be an honorary bishop

I tweet so differently on the two accounts it genuinely appears to be 2 different people at this point

He’s up going gentle into that good night I know he is

Hotel sex remains undefeated

My god I hate this holiday

I’m finished

On December 17th, 1903, the Wright Brothers Wilbur and Orville Wright executed the first manned flight in human history.

On December 16th, 1903, the Wright brothers Wilbur and Orville Wright executed their younger brother Icarus Wright with two bullets to the back of the head. Just to be safe.

Nailing a 56-yard walkoff as a college kicker. Immortality. Eternal Super Mario Star. You will never die brother.

Neds Declassified CISvival Guide to whether a queer person is calling me gay in a nice way or in a derogatory way

I would like to address the recent trend of folks saying “if it ain’t Double D it ain’t for me” and while I am flattered many people do not know you mean Doctor Dingbat and the message is misconstrued. I would ask you all to stop this practice!

‪GOD LIVES IN THE HEARTS OF MEN PARTICULARLY PJ WASHINGTON SPENCER DINWIDDIE AND RECENT CONVERT MARCUS SMART ‬

Lives, even

God lived in the hearts of men. Particularly Luka Doncic, Quentin Grimes, and PJ Washington

‪Sorry I’m late I was distracted. God lives in the hearts of men, particularly Quinton Grimes and Kyrie Irving ‬

Most productive evening I’ve had in months

Air conditioning always gets louder around holidays

Worst possible week I could’ve tried to pick Overwatch back up

🏴‍☠️

Slowly coming around to that this must be a typo and not a caut into the wind situation

God lives in the hearts of men. Particularly Naji Marshall and PJ Washington

a painting of a helicopter flying over a body of water with the words viralhog written below it Alt: A helicopter dousing a forest fire with water from above

"Whoever first called it squirting was definitely on top, because when she’s on top it looks way less like squirting and way more like a helicopter fighting a forest fire" - @doctordingbat.bsky.social

Too busy listening to the new Kendrick