Mike White… we need to have a little talk

Not the cute gay couple on my flight clocking me when I got to the hotel and they were at the same one 😭

Experts Recommend Using Hunger As Egg Substitute

Experts Recommend Using Hunger As Egg Substitute
theonion.com/experts...

Report: Store Out Of Good Kind

Report: Store Out Of Good Kind
theonion.com/report-...

Rotation Of Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness

Rotation Of Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness
theonion.com/rotatio...

Mike White is a sicko for the way this season is headed. #whitelotus

Not the Trump administration’s Defense Dept. wanting the Enola Gay to go back into the closet 😂😂😂😂

I know for real. I was about to stand up and thought…I recognize that hair-do

I’m so far in the back you can’t see me other than on the program angle cut where they zoom in on me and Sally in the way back

Oh reserve roastery barista/bar back that thanked me and said goodbye when you could have just ignored me and I was blushing way too hard, please see this and dm me 🥰

So I went and got drinks with this Irish lad and we exchanged numbers and keep in touch and now I think he might be a conservative 🤢

What do you mean Ukraine just needs to make some concessions… you realize you live in Europe… right????

Honestly I think I’m so tired of playing games I can’t help be painfully blunt with these people. Old flames are about to know how I feel or exit lmao

Just confessed a decades worth of feelings to someone and now I feel SICK

Not exactly sure what’s happening cosmically convincing me to message my old flames lately but they have all come out of the woodworks and I’m taking it as my sign to be forward

A bit of London architecture from this past week

FBI agent who just called to discuss my flight incident had quite a phone voice 😮‍💨
Call me any time

Anyone else notice tiktok shop being gone🙏🏻

My mother had faced such a difficult 6 years through Covid and caring for my grandmother before her passing in September. Getting to take her to London in United Polaris Business class and seeing her have such a nice time being taken care of makes me want to cry… maybe it’s just the free champagne

gravedigger of american democracy. a more malign influence than john c calhoun.

As a flight attendant, we can tell those of you who are excited by the snack service based on how perky and willing to respond you are

“I’m Still Here” WOW 😭

The job market has never been better for shills, stooges, and toadies of all stripes. Linkedin absolutely buzzing if you're a sycophant, a flunky, or even an unctuous little worm

Me thinks seditious conspiracy and/or election interference

God forbid our president be in a compromised position and unable to stop him because of what sorts of things would be revealed

Trump Boys Get Tongues Stuck To Frozen White House WASHINGTON—Flailing their arms and crying out in anguish, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. were reportedly panicking Thursday after getting their tongues stuck to a frozen column near the West Wing of ...

Trump Boys Get Tongues Stuck To Frozen White House

Trump Sick And Tired Of Mainstream Media Always Trying To Put His Words Into Some Sort Of Context NEW YORK—Emphasizing that the practice was just more evidence of journalists’ bias against him, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump stated Thursday that he was sick and tired of the mainstream media always attempting to place his words into some kind of context. “The corrupt news media is constantly taking the things I say and putting them within the larger context of politics and global events—it’s absolutely sickening what they do,” said Trump, adding that many of the comments he has made—including his call yesterday for Russia to hack into the emails of his presidential opponent Hillary Clinton and publish the contents—had been repeatedly and unfairly contextualized with relevant facts about the world and pertinent information about the situation in which they were stated. “It’s completely shameful to take words I’ve spoken or written and try to connect them to some kind of objective reality. I say something, and the next thing I know, a crooked reporter is telling everyone what I said along with a fact-based explanation of what its implications are and why it matters. It’s ridiculous, and it has to stop.” Trump added that he would not hesitate to ban any news organization from his campaign that continued to twist his statements by implying they held any specific meaning about or relation to the world we inhabit.

Trump Sick And Tired Of Mainstream Media Always Trying To Put His Words Into Some Sort Of Context
theonion.com/trump-s...

Report: You Live In An Embarrassing Country WASHINGTON—According to a new report published Wednesday by the Pew Research Center, you live in a deeply embarrassing and barely functional country. “Our latest research and statistical analysis show...

Report: You Live In An Embarrassing Country

Kings have been overthrown too

Democrats must make clear that, of course, we believe in changing government for the better - and show how different that is from Trump's destruction of government's capacity to protect workers, consumers, and families.