I’m getting a master’s in urban planning and am gonna make like one sixth of an MBA salary 🤡

Why would you even care if anyone says this? It’s obvious that our lives are not better

in partnership with Mr. Beast and Jeff Probst

quick, somebody cheat

Bitch who cares. The State of the Union is literally in a month.

Canada is now 20 minutes ahead of us in the Survivor finale, and for what?

Disney you are bones

this is weird to say but if my gym were in my own neighborhood I’d go far less. I wanna go on a little commute in the city on a little subway train with my little podcast.

as well as

absolutely LIVID Kip never fills Scott’s smoothie all the way to the top

Happy Giving Week! Consider Venmo’ing me @ mattran and all donations will be tripled on Friday in a lump sum! All proceeds will go toward World Central Kitchen.

right

Agree. It’s the most interesting of those three cities by far IMO.

It was beautiful but I was sooo bored tbh

OR

(2) Donate directly to my fundraising page: givengain.com/project/matthe…

Funds will not be tripled here, but maybe you itemize deductions during tax season idk

Ran the Philly Marathon today and it did not go great!! BUT I’ll be running the Boston Marathon in April and I’d love for you to help me fundraise for World Central Kitchen:

(1) Give to my Venmo here: venmo.com/mattran
** all donations via Venmo before Dec 5th will be TRIPLED**

me when I see ICE

the group idol finding is soooo corny and dumb

in this house, cat >>>>>> boyfriend

because he knows Trump is watching on TV and wants him to turn up the volume so he hears what he’s about to say

HE SAID TURN THE VOLUME UP

morning in Brooklyn

they should extend the proposed interborough express to the part of Staten Island that actually voted correctly, and then to Newark Airport, as a little treat

thank you to all my oomfs in generation zed

IF YOU’RE IN LINE, STAY IN LINE

native New Yorker version:
IF YOU’RE ON LINE, STAY ON LINE

there really is never a time when I'm not sleepy boots

Inspired by the NYC Marathon today? Donate to my Boston Marathon fundraiser! And even easier — Venmo me @ mattran and all donations will be doubled at the end of the year by a friend with corporate matching.

but DST is over and we’re now in standard time… open the schools

I can’t believe the NYC mayor’s house was named after Gracie Abrams