just remembered me and the boys see the same moon 😭

lol he’s 26

If the folks setting up the new government in Syria want some ideas, I've looked into the situation for the last half hour or so and I think I could help. DMs are open.

i had a dream i was having a shrek themed wedding and i was looking for something to fill the adage “something old, something meme, something borrowed, something green”

and I stood there and pretended I didn’t know who he was — I kinda felt like Peter denying Jesus 3 times

one time I went to a party full of 35 year olds and one of them was explaining northernlion to the others

“You know, you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”

having a nosebleed on the toilet while menstruating

nothing should ever change

huge

bsky.app/profile/klit...

cute names for a cat:
-raincoat
-bullet bill
-tofu
-spatula

the war between apple and google maps has gone too far. id be one thing if one of them just did what i need it to do, but instead, both of them just piss me off

people love to ask who you’ve seen at the smallest venue in town and then be like “oh I’ve never heard of them before”

girl obviously

im over here fighting demons (my eyelids)

normal guys watch keith eat the entire taco bell menu, go “that’s crazy”, and log off for the day

this is deadass the try guys

my fourteen year old ass really thought this would impact my life

remember when the internet was so small we all gave a shit any the higgs boson or whatever

My baby here on Earth
Showed me what my heart was worth
So, when it comes to be my turn
Could you shine it down here for her?

couldn’t do a hear me out cake bc i don’t have a printer but here ya go

i physically cannot watch any of the wicked press tour memes bc the secondhand embarrassment literally makes me want to jump out a window

i honestly don’t know how some people sleep at night

if u represent landlords in eviction court, u will not see the kingdom of heaven

in my defense, the email is p pog

trying so hard not to reply to a business email with "pog"

Love to ban trans women from capitol restrooms in order to “protect women and girls” while suppressing a report about the incoming attorney general paying for the statutory rape of a minor while in congress and showing women’s nudes on the House floor

I was like surely this is a meme….

I literally cannot tell which x posts are real and which ones are memes atp

bought my tickets to the dropout live show today! i was super worried after how difficult it was to get tickets to the MSG show but it wasn’t a problem at all. i did get them right at drop but there wasn’t a queue or anything