morphine and weed is a goated combo

scotland is kinda the tmasc version of this, I'm 5'5 and sometimes the same height as cis men which is cool

PUPPY'S GETTING NEUTERED ON 420

hate when sex toy sites have the categories male sex toys & female sex toys bc WHAT ABOUT THE ASS

breaking bad if computer

"got some real beauts here. you cannot beat the raw uptime of a dedicated rack"

"yeah... then again, what about serverless"

"sure, we got em. the good ones will really set you back on cold starts though. you're looking at 800 milliseconds of latency"

"yeah, not an issue"

STRETCHED TOP SURGERY SCARS
STRETCHED NIPPLE GRAFTS
RECURRING UTI SYMPTOMS

this shits insane lmao

left hand didnt bend the same way as the right
ankles rubbed on normal height shoes
pinky toe on right foot rubbed in shoes
could never run on a treadmill without getting a stitch no matter what
right earlobes were harder to stretch than the right
nails a different shape on index fingers only

every tiny weird thing about my body can be explained by having a random ass trapped tendon in my thumb

I can't believe my entire body has been slightly fucked up my WHOLE ASS LIFE and I didn't even realise?????

theorising on it

just smoked the shit that makes you end up on the human connectomics wikipedia page

My sister had two preemies and smth she and her husband found hard was keeping on top of things at home like pet care so help w things like that could be good! Maybe extra comfort items like pillows and blankets as well

skiing is crazy what do you mean I was going 63km/h

who up t-posing in a room next to their two sleeping nephews rn

the airport cock detection devices are working today lmao

really wish you could buy One Cigarette

thinking up a Device rn

the way I move myself to untwist my bones is kinda like untangling a slinky

the fact I'll be getting a hysterectomy soon finally sunk in and it's bc I framed it as getting neutered........

the woman on the phone seemed miffed when I couldn't immediately make a decision like sorry for not remaining constantly prepared for 6 weeks of recovery????

being offered a surgery date with one week notice after being on a two year wait list is INSANE lmao

COOL SEX TIP: if you are close to orgasm, don't say "I'm close" or "I'm gonna cum"; instead, declare riichi. this way, if they get you off, you can ron, but if you have to get yourself off, you can tsumo, indirectly indicating dissatisfaction with your partner's sexual performance

listing my physical properties when asked to tell someone about myself

taking my blahaj to hospital with me for surgery

been getting really into drinking half a can of monster then falling asleep

u can get insertion pins for internally threaded jewellery and nitrile/latex gloves help a Lot w screwing the balls in! i used to have centre eyebrows and they were pretty easy to change out, I believe in u!

saw this while on the toilet and it came true 💚

just accidentally washed my hands before pissing

Gray wolf littlest pet shop. It is a small bobblehead toy of a gray wolf with blue eyes and little eyelashes

taking the testosterone that turns you into this

having adhd means monster energy is a melatonin to me