At least your ghost isn’t Kristi Noem.

Do you think the White House pays John Sauer’s Grindr Tab during SCOTUS hearings?

You know, I think I’d use AI more for writing if I could get guaranteed delivery of complex concepts with the least amount of syllables, in the shortest sentences, and in the smallest paragraphs, that some one with an 8th grade learning level could understand.

Jesus Fuck.

If you're still pissed off at Hugo Chavez, just say that.

Can we talk about that makeshift situation room?

INCOMING #MATHROCK SKEET:

My Band, Casino Kid, plays with Lost Puppy Forever and Arcade 9 at the #IvyRoom in Albany, California, on January 8th, 2026.

Earplugs, stiff drinks, and a bit of the ol' pre-show jazz cabbage are all strongly recommended.

NGL: treyf is scrumptious.

A portion of my Jewish chosen family had us over for HAM and CRAB for Christmas Eve dinner.

G_d:

That’s a go for me, Red Leader.

Sorry. If I have to stay alive through this, so do you.

I stopped paying attention to the Atlantic after Jefferey Goldberg dumped pints of ink writing shitty article after shitty article defending the Nakba.

Our society deserves this.

Our society deserves this.

Good.

Hakeem Jeffries is a centrist politician who dances for the white man.

Please sit down.

Do this one so I can repost it here.

More infuriatingly hilarious, at least for us.

Hey, @nytpitchbot.bsky.social, here's some material.

You're welcome.

Do you want cease and desist letters from Wes Anderson?

Because this is how you get cease and desist letters from Wes Anderson.

Okay, im sorry.

So my man was enlisted by the CIA to fight the Taliban.

Didn’t we enlist the Taliban to (screaming really, really loud) fight the fucking Soviets?

(spittle foaming at corners of mouth)
Only to have the Taliban fly planes into our shit?

We ain’t learnt nothin’.

Boop.

You forgot Hakeem Jeffries.

This just makes me hate Maureen Dowd.

Wait. Y’all don’t know what felching is? Damn, that’s… good, I guess.

SHE LYIN'

AIN'T LEARNT SQUAT

Apologies for yelling. She's going to turn from this as soon as she can because I don't think she likes that this contrition is making her look less conservative. Just wait.

NICE GOING, BARI

@buttnakedpatriot.bsky.social

Whatever. How’s your Friday?

The upside is that I argue less wi people, and I get to worry less about saying stupid shit in public, which apparently is my superpower.