i have to be the hottest bitch at this farmer's market. it's not going well. there's a lot of other hot bitches here

what is the sitiation r u still banned 😭

what was happening nine months ago that i was horny enough to post This

😭😭 wtfffff

people named jack will always be like "ummm well jacktually......"

fuck marry kill: pumpkin bread, zucchini bread, banana bread

do you think #silver from #deadlock has like a lil happy trail?

i need more freaks to follow on here

giving the puppygirl an orchiectomy call her transfixed

well they're breaking Tumblr again so i guess I'll be posting here for now

estrogen update btw

by the way its important to remember that those were all really good jokes and roughly equal in quality

smoking that three cheese zaza pack

i would fuck up some unlimited breadsticks off the za

ok thats it for now thanks

phlebotomist: have you been fasting?
sonic the hedgehog at the bloodbank: who the fuck do you think you're talking to?

jesus got fired from his job at the record store because he kept turning tsuki waterhouse records into amy winehouse records on accident :/

(this one is dated already) roman kids writing VI VII on their clay tablets at school

last night was the new PDF <3

close-up magic themed drag queen named Miss D'Erection

girl who's dysphoric that she's not italian: endocrinologist won't prescribe me minestrone :'(

guy who's only read metamorphosis looking at a beetle: wow. truly kafkaesque. haunting.

guy who gets scared because he has the hiccups
(ren + tyler)

author who calls dirty talk "wordplay"

getting dumped and immediately ordering and pounding a shirley temple

me in plato's cave: omg i love this one

hydra GF asks me to give her head and i say which one

doing rose bud thorn at an orgy
(src my friend Ren)

guy who watches porn in his X-Box browser