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Posts by Citan Uzuki

Will I be 'happy' if 'they' put 'Tifa' in 'Street Fighter 6'? Certainly. But I will be 'even happier' if they also 'remove' 'every other character' (at the very least, '100% Tifa Mode' could be 'an optional setting').

15 hours ago 5 1 0 0

The world of 'Japanese Star Trek fandom' is not as readily visible as, say, 'goth loli.'

1 day ago 1 0 0 0

Men do not have 'paternal instincts' in the way that women have 'maternal instincts.' They are not 'nurturers.' They do not 'gush' over 'cute kids' in public. Any 'man' who claims to care about 'children' is almost certainly a 'predator.'

2 days ago 2 0 2 0

If 'Sonic Spinball' was ELDEN RING and 'Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine' was SHADOW OF THE ERDTREE, then 'Sonic 3D Blast' was NIGHTREIGN.

3 days ago 2 1 0 0
'pro tip' from a 'Blue Sky Dot Com' user: 'disliking' 'AI' is 'transphobic.'

'pro tip' from a 'Blue Sky Dot Com' user: 'disliking' 'AI' is 'transphobic.'

'Ellie Lockhart' ('Blue Sky Dot Com' user who, just now, posted 'perhaps the single most insane thing I have ever seen')? No thank you. I prefer 'Tifa Lockhart' (character featured in the '1997 videogame' 'Final Fantasy VII' who I have always liked 'a normal amount').

4 days ago 6 0 1 0

How can one be more ethical than to try to make ‘children’ ‘cry’ on ‘the internet’? You, sir, are ‘way’ ‘off base.’

5 days ago 2 0 0 0

'Miami' is a great city for 'intellectuals' who are also 'cocaine-guzzling degenerates.'

6 days ago 4 1 0 0

At the Egyptian city of Naucratis there was a famous old god whose name was Citan Uzuki, the babe who is called 'Tifa' is sacred to him, and he was the inventor of many arts such as arithmetic and calculation and geometry and astronomy and draughts and dice, but his great discovery was 'jacking it.'

1 week ago 3 2 0 0
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You don't like 'the Pope' because he's 'soft on crime.' I don't like 'the Pope' because he's 'never played Xenogears.' We are not the same.

1 week ago 13 6 0 0

'Taxes'? What 'the fuck' are 'taxes'?

1 week ago 5 1 0 0

'LinkedIn Citan Uzuki' 'be like': "Our 'AI bill' just 'hit' '$100,000,000' in 'a single month.' I've never been more 'proud' of 'an invoice' in 'my life.' Here's 'why': I am 'dumb as fuck.'"

1 week ago 3 2 0 0

It's 'quite remarkable,' when you 'think about it,' that 2010, the year 'Xenogears' was released, was almost 'a half decade ago.'

1 week ago 5 2 0 0

If the 'Xenogears' soundtrack were a 'film score,' it would 'repeatedly and continually' be voted 'the best film score in history' by both 'critics' and 'the general public,' and would be considered 'the most respected and impressive music of all time.'

1 week ago 4 1 1 0

I haven't 'bought a bar of soap' in '20 years.' I just 'steal them' from 'hotels.'

1 week ago 4 1 0 0

I believe in 'humanity.'*

* I vet all supposed 'humans' against specific criteria (known only to me) before deciding whether they count as true' 'humans.'

2 weeks ago 5 2 0 0
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I've made these 'massive' 'scientific discoveries.' I think I 'did' the most important 'piece of scientific discovery' in, I don't know, 'many decades.'

2 weeks ago 4 0 0 0
An 'incredible' response from an 'incredible' 'product.'

An 'incredible' response from an 'incredible' 'product.'

The 'discourse' around 'Al' companies not making 'good' 'products' is hilarious. Like by any metric the 'product' is 'incredible.' The level of 'cope' some people 'have' boggles
'my mind.' What are you 'gaining' by being so 'delusional'?

2 weeks ago 2 0 0 0

If 'Xenogears' had come out on the 'Commodore 64,' it would have been 'the greatest thing the Commodore 64 had ever seen.'

2 weeks ago 4 2 0 0

The best time to play ‘Xenogears’ was 28 years ago. The second-best time to play it was 27 years ago. The third-best time was 26 years ago. The fourth and fifth-best times were, respectively, 25 and 24 years ago. In truth, ‘now’ is the absolute least-best time imaginable to play ‘Xenogears.’

2 weeks ago 9 3 0 0

I 'fought' 'my dong'* and 'my dong' 'won.'**

* i.e., I 'jacked it'***
** i.e., I 'got off'****
*** i.e., I 'masturbated'
**** i.e., I 'ejaculated'

2 weeks ago 7 1 0 0

'Xenogears' will never die. But you will.

2 weeks ago 6 1 0 0

'Xenogears' 'holds true' to 'the Bible' and 'Christian values.'

2 weeks ago 4 4 0 0

If you are reading this and thinking, "this is outrageously implausible, it can't be true" - 'well' done! Today is indeed 'April the 1st'! But sadly, I 'really am' Citan Uzuki, character from the 1998 PlayStation classic 'Xenogears.'

3 weeks ago 12 1 1 0

My 'body' is 'a machine' that turns 'undigested human flesh' into 'digested human flesh.'

3 weeks ago 5 2 0 0

It is, to be quite frank, ‘sad’ how ‘clueless’ you are. I do not know whether to ‘help you’ or ‘beat you senseless.’

3 weeks ago 10 3 0 0
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To me, ‘J. R. R. Tolkien’ is ‘more like’ ‘J. R. R. Tokin’,’ because he ‘must have been’ ‘tokin’’ ‘that weed’ to ‘come up with’ those ‘little people with hairy feet.’

3 weeks ago 9 2 0 0

You may find some of ‘my posts’ upsetting. This is ‘only natural.’ Some of ‘my posts,’ after all, require ‘intelligence’ to understand. That’s what makes them ‘complicated and useful thoughts.’ If you are ‘too stupid’ to comprehend them, that is not ‘your fault’ (although actually it kind of ‘is’).

3 weeks ago 14 6 0 0

Why does 'Wikipedia' still exist? Didn't 'Xenoblade Chronicles 2' make it 'obsolete'?

3 weeks ago 4 2 0 0

You ignorant 'fucking' barbarian. There is NOTHING wrong with my 'linen shirts.' I will have you know that 'bleached' linen, 'starched and dressed,' possesses an utterly UNEQUALLED 'purity, gloss and smoothness' that makes it ALONE the suitable material for 'shirt-fronts, collars and wrist-bands.'

3 weeks ago 4 0 0 0

"The true 'university' 'these days' is 'a copy of Xenogears.'" -- Citan Uzuki ('me')

4 weeks ago 6 2 0 0