84-year-old Rep. John Carter (R-TX) is currently speaking at a House Appropriations hearing and he sounds like a gently-alive corpse. He's ready to be a Senator.

Serious: Trump wasn’t shot.
Half-serious: Dennis Rodman was a CIA plant to get information about North Korea.

here is a Post from President Pro Tempore of the Senate of Virginia, L. Louise Lucas (D-Portsmouth), age 82

bye I’ll miss u

he just like me fr

Can I come over and look at you like this?

I know you're fuckin' kidding me. lmao.

I don’t WANT to think this country is irredeemable, but then there are things like this…

If I must - EW. KETCHUP.

1. Healing medicine
2. Harms no one
3. Smells bad in one form
4. Culturally associated with Others

Must ban it!

Late night shenanigans!

LACMA BALLS! 😎🤙🏻

a bit more than instagram saw

In the same manifesto, Palantir's owners argued that we need a national military draft, that soft power is over, and that we were too hard on Germany and Japan after World War II. I don't think that company should be allowed to exist anymore.

A bird came to the window.

A black cat on a lap

I’m trapped beneath an immovable object. 😱

Me when i get wine horny.

Now, let me tell you why - my view, why we don't have peace. Because the fact of the matter is that too many Palestinians and too many Arabs do not want any Jewish state in the Middle East. The view of Palestinians is simple, the Europeans treated the Jews badly culminating in the Holocaust and they gave them our land as compensation. Of course, we say it's our land, the Torah says it, but they don't believe in the Torah. So that's the reason there is not peace. They invent other reasons, but they do not believe in a Jewish state and that is why we, in America, must stand strong with Israel through thick and thin. We must, because that is the reason, not any of these other false shibboleths why there is not peace in the Middle East.

Here's what Schumer actually says in that video that's going around. Again, it's bad enough as is without inventing quotes. web.archive.org/web/20190319...

look at god

🥵🥵🥵🥵

r.i.p. to a real one

sandy what is you doing

God just be makin’ anybody

“Y”know the top of the keyboard there it says QWERTY?”

Viola Davis as some version of Michelle Obama.

Still not over this very brave choice

Siri why is my baby still bald

Dorothy, a lesbian.

I was gonna go but didn’t and now I’m sorry I missed this ass. 😭