It’s important to pay close and careful attention to one particular limb from time to time. Good job, kiddos!!

The Wordle answers are getting increasingly unhinged!

Gmail, I don’t need to see the emails I sent my friend in 2022. I would love to find the one I sent her two months ago. That’d be great, in my opinion

Holyyyyyyy shit

!!!!!!

I love that sketch so much. They’re having so much fun with it

I’m on my last guess and stumped!

I thought about it, but at this point I’m genuinely curious to see if he’s better in person

I have a first date tonight and this guy is already annoying me 🫠

This is the exact moment I thought about last night when I learned about the two-week ceasefire

For HEMMING???

I have these sets and can’t believe I never thought to combine them! This looks lovely!

Stand with you to do WHAT? You’re not saying anything real.

God, this sucks 🌲

Maybe I’m just mad on behalf of English majors. Most of us aren’t kooks!

It’s hardly the most egregious part of that Naomi Wolf post, but it annoys me when middle-aged people cite their college major as a reason they’re ill-informed about something. You’re telling me you haven’t been curious about anything else since then?

Went to a funeral today. For the first time ever, I was effusively complimentary towards a teenager who was appreciative but I could tell she wanted me to go away. Aging!!!

Again?!?!?!

no personal business on company pond

‪Michaela Joffe‬ ‪@joffeorama.bsky.social‬ · 43m "go jump in a lake", "take a long walk off a short pier", "put an egg in your shoe and beat it", "go peddle your papers" these are just some of the violent, actionable threats journalists and academics face every two to three months on bluesky, or as some call it The Murder Website. A reply (username redacted) I never use the first two. My ex-by-external-force girlfriend is in a wheelchair from nearly drowning from hitting the bottom jumping off a pier.

it doesn't get any better than this

I can’t wait for next week when Dana unhinges her jaw and swallows Robby whole

Dudes rock?

The condo is MINE 🎉🎉🎉

In honor of April Fools Day, last week my brother-in-law handed me my drink cup while we were waiting for our food at Arby’s, and I (purposely) stuck it under the horsey sauce dispenser, and his panicked WAIT WAIT WAIT fueled me for the rest of the day.

I’m so sorry, and so glad that it was a peaceful and meaningful moment. 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

👊 🎉

Like whether you’re interested in the book itself or not (and I am!), this is pure Toast right here

I feel like every OG Toastie has been subconsciously waiting for this

Oh this is brilliant

Yes this is a brag, but sincerely, I think it’s alarming to get an answer to your email 30 seconds later!