I WOULD LIKE A DRINK.TO TALK TO REAL PEOPLE WITH

[ straight up Blair Witching it in the corner ]

[ stumbling into suborbital like he’s in some sort of stupor ] HELLO.ARE YOU ALL REAL

[ looking down at himself ] man

RODIMUS NO DO NOT LET THAT FOUO BEAST REPLACE THINE FACE WITH ANOTHER’S

frankly, are better used in the war effort. It sends a message, yes, but ruling by fear is ultimately an inefficient model.

On one hand, I understand the necessity of hunting down traitors if they possess sensitive information. That is a security risk. On the other, I cannot FATHOM to understand why it’s necessary to hunt down deserters who are not defecting. It is a waste of resources that,

Fuck

This is all purely hypothetical, of course. My Cybertron has no people on it to talk to death, anyways, and I’m fairly certain yours is at peace. I am content.

so dramatic. We could LITERALLY just set up an intercom system galaxy wide and use his voice to disable enemy combatants, but nooooo! He is too IMPORTANT, too NECCESARY, so he was permanently off doing witch hunts when we could have been using those skills to greater effect!

absolute fucking nonce of a mech. agreed. two fusion cannons is pushing it, buddy. It is not even efficient. You just have two smaller, less powerful fusion cannons. Why

⠀
⠀ #TFRP x #MVRP
⠀
⠀

(( hol on im making a ravage account and he will be russian like beast machines intended

[ holding up the lobotomizer ] think very carefully about what you are going to say next

I have decided I am going to do this. Vote for me because I have many science degrees (one for every field to be precise)

[ staring up at the ceiling ] I should go to that other cybertron and run for senator

Ohhhhhhhh he makes me so Sick

HE MAKES ME SICK

you FREAK! you dERANGED, CLAWED ANIMAL! You…. You…!

[ collapsing on his chair. gross sobbing into his ‘hands’. ]

[ whipping around with FURY! Shockwave starts picking up all the random doodads he can get his hands on and starts throwing them at Wheeljack. ]

OUT! GET OUT! FOUL BEAST, LEAVE THIS PLACE AT ONCE!!

Sentinel Drones?? … Vertebreak, come in! Are you receiving me? Ripclaw?? GRIMWING? BLACKBEAK?!! LASERBACK! SKYSTALKER, PLEASE! FUCK, NO!

[ slamming his ‘hands’ into the keyboard— little bits of metal fly everywhere. ]

[ scrambling to the nearest computer ] FISTFIGHT. Fistfight, come in! Fistfight?! Hello???!??!?

i CLONE! i make NEW THINGS from OLD THINGS! i don’t lop off people’s body parts and make a patchwork monstrosity for the sole purpose of KILLING! YOU—-

[ a sudden clarity. ]

How did you get past Cybertron’s defenses.

YOU TURNED MY GENUTALS INTO AN /AIR FRYER/. YOU SICK FREAK. You DESECRATE the holy science every day just by breathing! You and your sick experiments. What did you raise from the dead this time?!? GET OUT

[ stumbling backwards and like breaking so many glass beakers ] NO!!! GET OUT OF HERE, MONSTER! YOU DON’T BELONG IN THIS WORLD DHCoIGH AND COUGH KAFG

YOU CAN’T BE HERE

NO

[ working in his lab on some indescript doohickey. suddenly stops and looks at the doorway ]

I’ve been looking at this for the past month trying to think of a response.

I could be doing science right now