I’m drowning in my misery and misfortune. It feels like a quick sand that I’m stuck in

Why doesn’t anyone talk snot how hard it is to be an absolute fucking loser??

The horrors persist

And the ache aches on

3 hrs with the ache of the urge in my wrists but I don’t even really feel up to it. I just feel empty and like I’m worthless.

Is this the day I get back into sh but like actually??? God only one way to find out ig

Hate myself bc I let myself express anger so I took of my compression sleeves and walked home and took the stairs up bc why not

I don’t think anyone wants me around and I don’t think I’m meant to have deeper friendships. I’m supposed to spend my weekends alone. I’m meant to keep it all to myself. That’s my path to take alone because no one deserves to have to put up with me.

I’ve become so anxious that I don’t know how to socialize well anymore. I don’t know how to reach out and have a conversation beyond the basics and I don’t know how to show up well for people and I just feel awful all the time.

Instead I feel wanted in pretty much 0 ways. Whatever.

I know no one checks up on this fucking account bc I’m never here but I went from being alone to FEELING alone and it hurts and I don’t understand it entirely and I’m so sick of it. I just want to feel like cherished and trusted and like I’m fully wanted just in every way

Hey how do I get my knees to stop feeling like someone is stabbing the backs of them?? Asking for a friend

I gotta fucking pick a new text based social media and stick with it so I can use it as a dating app or something

I could scream until my heart gives out and I don't think anyone would hear it. or it'd just be ignored. whichever makes you feel less responsible I suppose.

I!!!!! LOVE TAKING A NAP AND HAVING NIGHTMARES WHERE MY DAD TRIES TO KILL ME!!!! SO FUN AND COOL!!!!!!

I really hate growing up in an environment where I was praised for being such a genius or whatever while also constantly being undermined and continuing into adulthood to be undermined.

Whatever I guess I'll just keep hermitting and taking care of my fucking else and not relying on anyone

Wanna fucking understand what just happened or why conversations with my mom have felt so shitty lately :/

Treating me like I don't know what I'm talking about but she just kept dismissing me and now I'm like on the verge of a meltdown for no reason and I fucking hate feeling so shitty for no reason and not understanding what just happened even a little bit like what??? Why??? I'm so confused and I just

Was like bc he's white and I was like that doesn't make any sense bc punching him wouldn't incite mass terror just bc I'm black and he's white and annoying. And she was being really dismissive and then just was like "it's not that serious we don't need to have this debate" but also was like

May have just gotten solid evidence of me being autistic and my mom not cuz she jokingly off handedly said that me saying "if we have to circle back to this info it's gonna be with these hands" about my white co worker a "terroristic threat" and I asked her to explain she

CC lesbian dating is rough lol granted I've only tried twice talking to some CC lesbians but they both just kinda ghosted immediately 😭 I get not having the energy but then why put yourself in the few CC dating specific resources?? 😭😭😭

I'm gonna buy the sunset makeup white foundation and do a clown look and get really into going clown looks at home over these next four years huh?

@meadowmarrow.bsky.social made me a gorgeous personalized lesbian flag! This is the work of an ARTIST y'all! Commission her if you can! 🩷

I'm unfortunately craving a ldr gf bc I'm so touch starved that I can't actually fathom the idea of actually being touched and I'm so emotionally unavailable that I need to not let anyone see me have emotions actually lol

Anyways the tweet I was gonna respond to was like "don't move to rednote they don't want you" or something like that but I literally keep getting ads for rednote on TikTok lmao

I was gonna respond to one of tweets I got in a notification yesterday (bc if the longer youre off Twitter the more they're like "HEY LOOK AT THIS PLEASE IM BEGGINGJJG YOU OH MY GOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!") and then I remembered I deleted both my twitter accounts and the app from my phone lmao

Also I think I have an ear infection??? Idk my ear hurts sm and my heads been hurting all day. Just like my whole left side of my face

It's be so cool of Hulu had a "reset series" button so that when I rewatch a series, I don't have to oddly rewind episodes :/

Not me getting my period and feeling like shit ugh like this is the first time I'm a while I've just felt like upset and clingy ig

There's still a lot I need to do to complete my place but the white/off grey walls fucking suck sm 😭