Is the lock in my work locker a shoddy piece of shit or am I a brute, like Lenny from Of Mice & Men, who doesn’t know his own strength? Just pulled out the whole barrel while trying to unlock it

Lowkey?

I subscribed to the Telegraph to read one article and then immediately unsubscribed. I ticked Other when asked for my reason and, when prompted to elaborate, wrote EAT THE RICH
Take that The Telegraph! Sick burn!

Let’s ‘av it!

My shittest and most dangerous ADHD trait is not being able to tell how tired I am until I fall asleep while walking down a corridor at work. There are probably apps to warn me, but I bet there are dogs who could be trained. Can I has?

This is a good way to get rid of spare Brie. Eat it!

Demis Roussos - I Dig You - دمیس روسس YouTube video by cheshmentezar

I want to hear Demis Roussos Laurence, Ange wants to hear Demis Roussos, Tony wants to hear Demis Roussos, and Sue would like to hear Demis Roussos, so can we have Demis Roussos on please Laurence
youtu.be/Y7Q1HsPE5cQ?...

Equals - Funky Like A Train 1976 YouTube video by GianfrancoByPreciso

This really is funky like a train:

youtu.be/xoQFwKLRnHE?...

I got called a ‘ginger reading cunt’ by an angry customer today and I’m thinking of having a badge made.

Chuck Norris, prolific action star and martial arts champion, dies aged 86 Actor and martial artist who rose to fame after starring in Bruce Lee’s The Way of the Dragon also became a TV fixture with Walker, Texas Ranger

www.theguardian.com/film/2026/ma...
I think not. The truth is that we are now all dead because Chuck Norris stopped dreaming us and just woke up from his siesta

Barrington Levy Feat. Rebel MC - Under Me Sensi (Legalize It Mix) YouTube video by mid1990s

RMTO in south London

youtu.be/_s3Lfsn5MV4?...

Pet Shop Boys - Miracles YouTube video by PetShopBoys Parlophone

SET TITS TO RUSH:

youtu.be/sxKyBoYFUz4?...

Best Wuthering Heights Adaption: Cliff Richard's Heathcliff YouTube video by Found Footage Fest

Cliff Richard’s Wuthering Heights looks more authentic than the latest version:
youtu.be/GCUn4qpFj8I?...
Certainly more fun anyway

Kept falling asleep yesterday in the dentist’s chair despite having that in my gob and drills and brushes and shit whirring away. How come I can fall asleep there but struggle so much to sleep at night in bed? 😆

There aren’t many joyful sights in February 2026, but this is one of them:

The Democracy Manifest guy being manhandled into a red car by the cops. He's now Andy Windsor and one of the arresting officers is Paddington Bear, who always puts in a shift regardless of his day job as a Peruvian psychopomp.

"Why did you do this to me? For what reason? What is the charge? Trading secrets? Trading succulent state secrets?"

A screenshot from the Graham Linehan Facebook page, dated January 26, 2017. "Here's something to watch for: sub-par entertainers/hacks etc smelling that sweet right wing sucker money and making their move."

Nine years to the day since Graham Linehan foresaw his own fate.

Just bought a ticket to see Bone Temple at a Vue - it now has an even more confusing pricing structure - the most expensive seats are twice the price of the cheapest but they are in the worst location at the back. Is it just cos they’re massive seats that won’t fit down the front?

Tsk, such a bad way to watch a tv show

Now wipe your nose and get back to work, peasants!

I know I must be officially old now cos I bought my first ever cardigan. I also appear to morphing into a stereotypical librarian.

Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He had used promo code ORWELL1984 to get his first month free with BetterHelp

Eddy Grant - War Party (Official) YouTube video by EddyGrantOfficial

Eddie Grant is a wise man:

youtu.be/2vGmnce_fLU?...

Wholesome graffiti FTW:

Have you read Prey? I would describe that as wonderful nonsense too.

We haven’t had owt from Chris Morris recently cos he’s got a new job. He must be exhausted though, so can we have Bob Mortimer take over now?

Catching up with the last two episodes of Pluribus and am disturbed to discover that THEY have somehow never listened to The KLF’s Chill Out

You are speaking my language

(though I am unhappy with the design of that book cover)

HAPPY NEW YEAR, SLAVES!