bangarang…💔

Failed to pay off the Dominos Pizza I financed and the Klarna guys just showed up to my front door with a plunger

Guys im so excited for catapult propelled space amphibian

Eyo why the chair breathin

Big red circle with a big red arrow pointing to a cat eating out of a dish with the word “GLUTTONY” in big bold white letters with a black border at the top of the image which has been deepfried

Harold of the Apocalypse
Kurt Cobain

Yknow what?
I wish every 3-10 minutes something horrible would happen to me :)

There are ghosts in my walls from your terrible terrible machine!

than to go to fuckin jail one more time.
Dont even try to bring no helicopters down here neither. Like I dont got a whole fuckin coop full of pigeons with C4 tied ‘round their feets.
Got a bunch of PVC pipe filled with gunpowder and ball bearings and a baboon who is deadly accurate with a nailgun.

motherfucker. Ive got a bengal tiger locked in my bathroom who would fuckin kill for a pork chop right now.

Yknow, its surprisingly easy to teach a raccoon how to loosen lug nuts and cut brake lines.
Id rather live the rest of my life in the woods, living off fuckin wild ginseng and creek water

when you open my front door.

Ive got about 120 coyotes that Ive trained to bite anything with a crew cut and a fuckin badge.
I flew an old Vietnamese man out here and he helped me dig about 12 miles worth of underground tunnels.

I have 450 cameras Ive rigged to solar panels all around this

My lawyer just called and asked if i was ready for court tomorrow. Said, “Hell Yeah.. I aint goin.”

See Ive spent the last six months booby trapping my entire 500 acres. I got snake pits, rolling logs, bear traps.. I got some straight up Indiana Jones shit. Ive got a fuckin boulder thatll fall down

long day at the long day factory

Then i wrote “KYS 😊” and the dream ended

You’re not?

Drawing of a puppy with the caption; "It took so much pain for me to become this gentle"

Gentle

Breaking News:
Local Cat Literally Too Angry To Die

Everytime I’m put into a mating press it adds more RAM to my system.

I feel so much better now!

I could just pour chocolate syrup on your nuts and walk away

“Can you get me two forks?”
“…Thats what they call me.”
“…Thats NOT what they call you, they call you Scrimblee.”
“Ol’ Scrimblee Two Forks.”

“We found the topiest top on the planet and unfortunately HaremGod999 isnt all that interesting”
-my coworker

Freedom is a clean piece of toilet paper after taco bell

that motherfucker took our fucking mom

Uruki Preview :3
QVK15 coming soon~
#Booth_PM #QVK3D #Uruki3D

Akaiye in all those details

Everything would be fine..
If not for the monkey..

𝓘 𝓪𝓶 𝓢𝓲𝓼𝔂𝓹𝓱𝓾𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭𝓮𝓻..