The gay frogs are in charge of marketing and data analytics.

Gay frogs rejoice!

Your fluency in Nextdoor bored suburbanite speak is a wonder to behold 🫡

They're packed in baggies of sawdust and that's where the locals are getting the marijuana idea from.

They're mild fireworks wrapped in paper that do little more than make a pop sound when thrown on the ground. We used to throw them at marching bands during parades.
I remember that Aqua Teen affair. The media was particularly hysterical that day.

This is breathtakingly wrong. Unions in America, by and large, were all in for Trump in 2024.

So many petty grievances and doomer predictions could be avoided if these people could remember what their childhood experiences. If they could, they'd probably realize how silly they look declaring every prank to be terrorism and every simple pursuit to be drug trafficking.

The local worrywarts on Nextdoor are panicking over a bag of Pop-Its found at the playground and have gone from declaring it to be marijuana to laced marijuana to fentanyl within ten minutes.
Suburbanites have it so good that they literally have to make up things to fret over.

My name is Trumpymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!

Step one: Base my vote solely on the price of eggs
Step two: Elect a tyrant to do f**k all
Step three: ????
Step four: Blame the price of car juice on the former guy

Easiest CAPTCHA ever

As slippery as the Governor in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

If Peterson wants to live, he'll stop taking her advice. I've probably watched too much true crime television but in my (untrained) opinion, she seems like the type to engage in factitious disorder by proxy behaviors.

Zima Wine Coolers lasted longer than the campus takeover protests.

This conversation makes me a little happy to have diabetes and a great excuse to politely decline all of these abominations.

He got traded to Cuba :/

I'm scar ambivalent, for the most part, but....holy hell...I've really racked up more than my share in the past six months.

All of the above

Trump seems to hate Vance even more than Pence and that's really something.

White House Scrambles to Fix Trump's Vance Snub JD Vance is back in the game after seemingly being dropped from the latest round of negotiations with Iran.

Anymore humiliating demotions and he'll have to change his name again from JD Vance to JV Vance. www.thedailybeast.com/trump-benche...

The same people that demanded buckets of tears for Charlie Kirk are probably shrugging their shoulders today, claiming that these eight lives are an acceptable tithe for freedumb.

They probably gave him a Where's Waldo Junior Edition to keep him occupied while holding strategy meetings.

Crying tears of regret in the bathroom or raiding your medicine cabinet of the pills the dentist gave you after your root canal? Either way, you better check on him/her.

Salute to an all-time tweet

Around here, even before the food was bad, the service was comically incompetent and downright rude. I know someone who didn't hear the cashier say "Hold on" and got told to "Shut the f**k up" when he continued with his order. I still laugh when I think of it.

Optical illusion time. I thought I had suddenly developed some feminine cleavage after seeing my reflection in the window but it was just my giant surgical scar that I'm still not used to seeing.

My husband will never trust me to pick the movies we watch after Threads and The Road.

Abandoning a religion to follow a central authority who demands absolute fealty and defense doesn't just sound cultish-it's literally a cult.

Be happy people are simply bitching. Around here the suburban commandos who spent the Obama years amassing arsenals and are pissed they've never gotten to use them threaten the lives of kids for the crime of...being kids.

With my luck, the last thing I'll see before the ultimate blinding light is a sport betting advertisement.