Building a auto reply bot for the Company Slack that picks “great run with it” “i will give you 20% more department budget” “not sure ask again later” “bad idea, but i love the initiative” and “lets talk offline” then going to the beach

just an hour of my family mad at me for not getting rao’s

At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours By Bryce P. Tetraeder, CEO, Global Tetrahedron

We have a deal. theonion.com/at-long-last...

Browsing this company's website and the only way I can describe what I'm seeing is imagine a school shooter was a management consultant

you could watch this happen live using ais tracking yesterday and you could almost hear the captains yelling leeeerrrrrooooooy jeeeeennnnnkiiiiiins

kevin smith screaming, crying, throwing up

Exactly one year ago today:

Death doula, the mic rula, the old schoola, you want a RIP, I’ll bring it to ya

i bet this goes crazy if you’re a dumbass

imagine if you hit powerball. imagine if you find out youre the secret heir to genovia and youre really anne hathaway. imagine dragons

Ah well nevertheless,

some good news for once. Judge Sansone has again rejected the government's claim that I am a dangerous criminal who needs strict supervision & thus as of today am free to travel anywhere in the continental u.s., no longer have daily random drug tests, etc. Thank you to everyone who helped out.

I’m glad that he’s showing what (white) American Christianity is really about. The thirst for domination and power to the point of blasphemy. They’ve been calling him the chosen one, an avatar of God, because he allows them to hate marginalized people. He can do this because they won’t abandon him.

my idea of economics was forever changed when this girl in ninth grade was like “your family’s rich” and i said “yeah right, my dad’s a journalist and my mom’s a teacher, do the math” and she said “my dad’s a magician”

Something's going wrong? Send JD. He can be the face of it

i feel like the yankees are obsessed with playing baseball. almost every day they’re like oh, we’re gonna play a baseball game, or like oh, we’re gonna wear baseball uniforms today. and it’s just like, okay

Thank you for being a friend
Floated to the moon and back again
Your heart is true
You're a pal and a confidant

The USPS can't "run out of money," the sole question is the people in charge of the federal government believe delivering mail is worth funding the same way they already fund armed kidnapping gangs, concentration camps, and blowing up girls' schools.

To all who celebrate

It's very simple: People who choose to use a Nazi website will on the whole be less critical of Nazis.

How is Rudy questionable with rest?

www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/m... 🥚

It produced probably the single-most gratifying piece of reader mail of my career.

File articles of impeachment. Again. It's okay if you don't have the votes. This is about having a soul.

Death is always lurking. We see it in violence, in the wounds of the world, in the cry of pain that rises from every corner because of the abuses that crush the weakest among us, because of the idolatry of profit that plunders the earth's resources, because of the violence of war that kills and destroys.

The pope is tweeting like a wide receiver. cc: @dennycarter.bsky.social

He's just been posting to the Jeremy Renner App so no one has noticed.

new Dudes Rock just dropped

we pay michael oliver good money to give these!

Don't get it twisted. Pam Bondi must still come before the Oversight Committee as mandated by our subpoena.

She must answer for her coverup of the Epstein files and weaponization of the DOJ.

We owe it to survivors and to the public to hold her accountable.

who called it a giraffe and not a throat goat