while im dice ranting: rolling dice with a vtt or discord bot is one of the most souless, swaggless, sexless things a person can do.

every time im forced to do it i feel my polyhedrons cry out to me. babes longing for their mother

like seriously fuck the polyhedrons but god damn do they feel right

i keep telling myself i dont like rolling the fucking stupid dice but it kinda hit sometimes lowkey

A cover of mantis. It is an X-ray of a chest and says mantis, a horror solo rpg of sexual cannibalism by witty Volkova

A photo of a bloodied witty in a white dress with a giger pattern background

If a solo horror rpg zine game about being an alien who reflects what men want to see in order to consume them sounds up your alley, have I got the game for you
wittlegoblin.itch.io/mantis 🩸🩸🩸

an anthropomorphic flock Camera giving a middle finger and saying "HI KIDS, MY NAME IS FLOCKY I Contain 2 grams Gold, 2lbs Copper. That's worth more than $300! CA-CHING!

You trip on the stone, land hard against a rotten crate that crumbles under you with a crash. in the darkness you hear the goblins grumble and rouse. they will surely be upon you soon.

You clang over to the door, flinging it wide revealing a 30x30ft stone chamber. There is a door ahead (south) as well as to your east. Filling the right half of the room are empty barrels and crates. A pile of dirty furs lay beside them. You see no enemies but detect a plant within a broken barrel.

The grab the goblin and he begins to stab into you, leaving multiple horrendous wounds. You are sure to lose consciousness momentarily. What do you do?

*holds out a lil treat for u* 🫴

From the celluloid closet: All the reading i was given was always heterosexual, every movie I saw was heterosexual, and I had to do this translation..."

You hike the half day back to Greansforth, the Hand looming behind you and still visible on the horizon from town. In town, you are able to sell the bolts for 8gp before the market closes. Simple room & board at the inn is 1gp a day, you can rest easy for a week.

Insulated from the violence, you see six sleeping goblins sleeping amongst refuse. You can spot a door further through the chamber. Do you enter this room, leave for the nexus, or do something else?

Urkkk moves closer to the goblin, his jaw widening with a groan. The goblin lashes out with his dagger repeatedly, brutalizing Urkkk who collapses. The goblin clutches his dagger and growls at you.

Scouring the room you do not find any plant matter here. But your enhanced plant senses ping some amount of plant beyond the closed door to the south.

You hurry with your collected things outside the dungeon hallway, through the massive stone fissure that lead to the dungeon, and out of the cave centered on palm of the stadium sized hand that recently clawed forth from the earth.

The weather is pleasant, and a sweet breeze rocks the trees.

Seeing one if its kind turned into a zombie, the goblin growls and bears its dagger but makes no move to attack.

There is a door to the east and south.

You set up your straw target and collect the bolts as you trigger each tripwire one by one.

You hear the sound of something moving frustratingly beyond the door to the south.

You stash you loot and then drink the potion. It's unpleasantly minty like toothpaste. You can now control plants, however you're unsure of the duration.

You hear movement in coming from the room beyond the closed door to the south.

There is a hidden door to the west behind the crates that holds the goblins belongings. The south door is the lair of a sand spirit, which he hates. The east door leads to the a nexus where the Strong Ones rule.

You sneak out the east door down a curved hallway that enters into the north end of a new chamber. This octagonal 30ft empty chamber is a nexus of foot traffic through each door at N, E, S, and W. In the rafters above you notice a sleeping 3ft long cobra as you cross the center of the chamber.

Your thrall growns and shambles over the to the furs, pulling them aside to reveal a goblin waiting in ambush. It moves to attack with a jagged knife but pauses, unsure of the sight it sees before it.

The knight has his armor, shield, flask of good wine, a lot of rope, like a lot of rope, and a bottle full of sparkling purple liquid.

He drops his few belongings: torches, 11 gp, and trail rations, before he makes to run out of the room in terror.

What do you do?

This door lacks the same heavy wear and tear of the flagstones but you do hear the occasional faint sound of shifting sand, rapid in bursts like laughter.

You collect yourself, grab the knife, and listen at the left (east) door. You hear silence on the other side. You do notice signs heavy foot traffic from the warn stone beneath your feet at this door.

you should, its correct

"Urkkk" The undead goblin growns.

"Urkkkkk" The undead goblin growns again

The next room is a 30x30ft. There is a door ahead as well as to your left. Filling the right half of the room are old barrels and crates, most of the wood rotten and the contents empty. A pile of dirty furs lay beside them.

You grab the sword and hiss but the hireling does not flee. He drops his torch and falls to his knees.

"Please spare me, I have a family!" He pleas.

He's moments away from wetting himself.

You bring the stone down upon his head with a thunderous *CRACK*. He slumps to the floor dead, his skull broken.

anime bong joke is like one step away from pickle rick bong joke... youre a comedic genius...