Hey. Do you happen to be aware of a local anomaly involving an object so dense it’s affecting gravity?

Decent song. Not a great video

What was the song? I don’t have a gun but I do know where to find you

Geordies know we already keep wor elephants in wor zoo

He’d keep dropping them

Easter Sunday thought for the day: Let he who hasn’t used an expletive laden social media post to threaten to commit war crimes cast the first stone.

It’s not so bad being told you’re no Churchill by a President who’s currently falling well short of the standard set by George W Bush

A few years ago the optician told me I don’t blink properly. My eyes don’t fully close so they get dry. You survive 50 years with a delusion of some basic level of competence then find out your blink is deficient

So… is it still working, have you still got Moon Raider, when is it my turn?

If you like Safesurfer, listen to Repent Walpurgis by Procul Harem

For the better?

If you have 10 people in your team you could go on your own. It will be a big morale boost for you and really unite your team

There was a young lady from Daytona Beach…

Make a Bond film casual:

On Her Majesty’s Secret Santa List

two men are kneeling down in front of a shed looking at a box with stickers on it ALT: two men are kneeling down in front of a shed looking at a box with stickers on it

Preparing for your visit

Between the training room bits in the Strictly final and the Joshua v Paul fight we got to see a lot of lights being turned out on TV this weekend

Aim higher. You could be Director of the whole F** Around & Find Out department

Kevin Keegan would tell you of his attempts at Newcastle to put together a Shearer-Hartson Attack

Or? ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/12...

Every crime scene would have a lovely cafe and a gift shop

Congratulations on now just being a ____ bastard

You could come down to earth with a bump

That pronunciation made everyone in Northumberland go right Ulgham

I like the Gary Delaney joke that the area in a Nando’s between the front door and the back door is called the peri-perineum

And in their honour I added a typo of my own

The Grauniad not letting the rise a a facist state stop them from maintaining their tradition standards

Liar. You have always discriminated against me

Maybe they could fish all that tea out of Boston harbour to drink instead

Long time since I watched S1. Yes a little weird but think it’s because she still thinks of them as young children