If you win the Masters back to back you should get green pants

The best part about watching The Masters on TV is getting my driver out of the garage so I can make all those minor adjustments to it that will not impact my golf game in the slightest.

Hope can drive a man insane.

Picture Young Pierre on a Sunday night, age seven, sitting cross-legged on the floor in his favorite suit and bow tie. He’s watching the Disney Sunday Night movie on CBC, nibbling on a pb&j sandwich with no crust, and he says to his father, “all of this could be solved by a simple flat tax.”

I thought this was a joke about how poorly Brady Tkachuk handled the last few days but no this is actually just a fully accurate description of what he just did in a hockey game that’s happening right now

dude got banned by his own team for making tom wilson look like a reasonable person

Sarajevo hosted the Olympics...

i’ve started stepping on lego pieces on purpose to start building my immunity

Can’t remember the last time the Oilers scored 6 goals and McDavid only had one point

Fake advertisement for Draft Kings in a print copy of The Onion. In the front of a photo of a house with a foreclosure sign, it reads: "Draft Kings Earn a free $10 toward buying back your house."

excellent work by @theonion.com this month

Danielle Smith the last 3 months - The Courts are the worst! Biased! Appointed by Justin Trudeau! That's why we had to notwithstanding clause!

Smith today - The courts are unbiased and the best!

It's almost as if it isn't about the courts at all...

#abpoli #ableg #cdnpoli

Skinner is looking good tonight. But I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So far this Oilers game has been a total snooze fest, and the UCP’s education funding propaganda (sorry, “commercials”) during every break aren’t helping with the entertainment value.

I’d like to toot my own horn here, as well as that of my friends, by acknowledging that this month marks the 20th anniversary of the Oilogosphere. For those who don’t know, that’s the name given to the group of Edmonton Oilers bloggers who appeared after the 2005 NHL lockout. 🧵/1

Grateful I remembered to cancel my Sportsnet+ subscription today and renew it at the lower annual rate before the price increases tomorrow.

Need 600 dollars due to recent personal tragedy. Picture is not related, I cannot figure out how to delete it. The money is not for that. I don’t know what it is even

Are you sure you’re listening? 🤨

Danielle Smith’s waste-of-taxpayer-money “Alberta Next” panels turned rowdy in Edmonton.

It’s clear they’re not interested in hearing from Albertans. The UCP just wants to continue to push their costly, destabilizing ideas on Alberta.

I encourage all Alberta chuds to defy this bear lockdown. They should express their civil liberties while walking around eating a sandwich.

Danielle Smith is traveling back from Mexico today, but you won't ever see the receipts. ❌

She and the UCP scrapped the rule that required her to show Albertans the bill.

What happened to the Danielle Smith who wanted government transparency?

Him: No pain, no gain!!

Me: Your terms are acceptable

People suck.

Most of them are good. But enough of them are awful that it makes it so much harder for the rest of us.

Be better.

On my third viewing, I can now finally admit that K-Pop Demon Hunters is pretty cool.

Golden is a banger.

I love Zoe.

also he got in trouble for drinking at work

If you listen really hard you can still hear the radio jingle.

And even if they are bad people they still have a right to representation.

But many are not as bad as the government says

While we’re still figuring out life on Earth, Voyager 1 is 15 billion miles away, cruising on 69KB, an 8-track, and 1977s Fortran like it’s nothing.

A roadside billboard reads “Your wife knows...”

Nervously, I close the bag. “No way,” I tell myself. “It’s not like she’s gonna count the fries.” I start to sweat.

Shawshank (obs), True Romance, Hudsucker Proxy

A door wedge with the name “Hodor” engraved into it.

Found in my brother’s house and I’m upset.

Tried it. Not the same unfortunately. I don’t drink much. But I love bourbon.

I’ll be honest, as much as I’ve taken a strong stance against the USA I draw the line at bourbon.

We went to Japan to go to Disney. I won’t be back to the USA until that guy is gone.

I’m not drinking the peaty bog water that is scotch and I’m not a huge fan of rye either.

A man has his limits