And shit, on that note, the first time I saw my wife, she was dressed in an emerald ballgown being a knife- throwers assistant on stage in a nightclub.

That's literally amazing.

You say that, but the more you conga, the more they remember you....

Utterly Betrayed   The Rt Hon. Ralph St John Cholmondley having moped around glolmondley for three weeks in Belvoir with glandular felvoir, decided to surprise his fiancé in Frome.   Bursting into the rome, he found her cavorting with an awick from Hawick (via Worcester), whose close attentions had left her all of a florcester.   His fiancé, who hailed from Beaulieu, begged him not to get upset undeaulieu, as Ralph stared at them, boggle-eyed. Things aren’t how they look, she cried. Brian Bilston

Today’s poem is called ‘Utterly Betrayed’.

A small bowl of homemade rainbow coleslaw

I'm so delighted with how this rainbow coleslaw came out that I'm sharing a photo of it. The red onions are quick-pickled, for extra zip.

I've just slammed a door shut on my scrotum in sympathy, and it caused me less pain than that headline.

Great to see @lostcausebrewingco.bsky.social finally roll the shutter up on their forever (for now) home this evening. Delighted that Colin and Vik have finally got to this point.

Can't a man have a hobby? Woke has ruined everything etc etc

It's the bit where the artists actually get some money. I know nobody likes paying their PRS license.

There are plans on the pipeline, but I'll say no more for now.

Pizza?

Battle of Holbeck Moor - Wikipedia

That's going to make celebrating the 90th anniversary of the Battle of Holbeck Moor hard to publicise: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_...

Happy PRS payout day to all who celebrate.

A bottle of Morrisons sherry vinegar

The rear label of a bottle of Morrisons sherry vinegar, showing the PDO mark

Even at domestic supermarket level, sherry vinegar is always my go-to. I didn't know it had PDO status, but that makes sense.

Because I read the word looksmaxxing this morning, I now have the Fresh Prince line from Summertime "chillin' in a car you spent the whole day waxing" on a loop in my head.

Trump posted an AI image of himself as Jesus healing a bedridden--wait, is that Jon Stewart?!

Wout Van Aert holds up his pave trophy #ParisRoubaix

"the Cobblestone is the Weapon of the Proletariat"
Ivan Shadr 1972

Cc @whatjoewrote.bsky.social

I think I speak for us all when I say Jesus Fucking Christ.

Me too! Don't tell anyone, we've stumbled onto something here....

It's a shame that Hornsea steinware isn't a thing

Pottery shopping this afternoon?

Flier with Charlie Chaplin in his bowler hat, grinning. Text: IN TIMES LIKE THESE, WE ALL NEED REASONS TO SMILE COMMONERS CHOIR FRIDAY APRIL 10 DOORS 6PM £17 HEBDEN BRIDGE PICTURE HOUSE TICKETS FROM WWW.COMMONERSCHOIR.COM

Come and watch Charlie Chaplin’s ‘Modern Times’ (90th anniv.) at Hebden Bridge Picture House, a full choir set, and a short workshop on preparing and delivering a custard pie to your favourite billionaire.
Fri 10 April, doors 6pm.
#HebdenBridge
#CustardPies

www.commonerschoir.com/Shop.php#!/S...

Tonight in #HebdenBridge
Uplifting songs, Chaplin film and more....
See you there.

"Why you no do dick jokes?"

I'm starting to suspect that Trump has never heard of Gerard Winstanley.

I used the phrase "pariah state" just last night. Sorry Jeff, but it's an arsehole jamboree.

Just phone calls and emails....

Reductio ad absurdam. Also, looks tasty!

They're going to take a while at that temperature.