🙏🏼🙏🏼

Happy Singles Awareness Week from my first-ever @mcsweeneys.net piece

Me soaking up as many memes as possible before I go off socials

What I’m saying is, who wants to eat a hunk of tomato by itself?

Y’all find tomato in tacos so horrifying but please explain this. Is this a salad?

Punxsatawney Phil Confirms Six More Weeks of January

He’s a demolition contractor

In Florida at my dad’s work Christmas party, AMA

what if we live in different countries, does that matter

the viral TikTok mac n cheese recipe, man

December Fridays be like “How will I have time to get four projects finished and also grate five pounds of cheese?”

You already are 🥰

Relieved to learn that the actor voicing the Latino polar bear is actually Latino.

Just realized that my brother-in-law looks kind of like a white Andrew Tate and I fear this may ruin Christmas

But why did they call him Hot Frosty and not Jock Frost

Don’t forget, this is the last day to get embarrassing songs out of your Spotify Wrapped!

Thanksgiving is a time for hard family conversations

[told I’m needed to fulfill an ancient prophecy] What’s the latest possible deadline?

but have you considered being a part-tiiiiiiiiiime model?

If you work with someone who thinks every single thing is a crisis you do not, I repeat, do NOT need to match their freak