So “next month” 8 months ago turned out to be “September 2026”, but I’m doing it. Found a job, got the job, renewed my passport, booking my flight, getting the fuck out of Dodge. And not a moment too soon. Fuck this for a bunch of a bananas, I’m off.
Out of the blue with no context and zero relevance to anything:
“I NEED Cristiano Ronaldo.”
- My niece, aged 6.
It does seem like a rather egregious oversight from where we’re standing, doesn’t it?
I was just given a warning on Reddit for saying this, even though it’s *palpably* true. 😂
Come on, America. He needs to go. The time to justify that Second Amendment is now.
He said WHAT?
If I was a billionaire I would have diverted a whole bunch of money towards flying to the dark side of the moon in secret months ago, with loads of little cardboard aliens and a huge banner saying “WELCOME EARTHLINGS.” It would have been the best practical joke in history.
Unhinged is exactly right. That is not the thinking of a well man.
Shelves in a library filled with old bestsellers. Above the shelves is a sign: "Large print Audio books"
Turn up the volume, ffs
I’m so glad i don’t have kids.
As a qualified youth worker, I 1000% agree.
I read a comment on TikTok the other day: “Even King Arthur wouldn’t be able to pull that man out of me.” Made me chuckle.
I accidentally ran over another porter. He was lying motionless in the middle of my road for 2 irl days so I had to keep checking if he was dead or not. Luckily he woke up and wandered off eventually. Got docked a whole bunch of likes though.
I played the first one recently & amused myself throughout the whole experience saying “___ with Norman Reedus” out loud whenever something happened.
Shower with Norman Reedus. Shit with Norman Reedus. Trip over a rock with Norman Reedus. Fall off a cliff with Norman Reedus.
She’s always looked a bit dead-eyed, hasn’t she? She’s beautiful though. Decent actress too.
I have the same number of Oscars as Timothée Chalamet and I hope that never changes.
Random thing I learned today: Of the 30 fastest 100m sprint times, 21 were run by athletes who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs.
The other 9 were Usain Bolt.
Best Dress. It wasn’t even a competition, the frocks this year were lacklustre AF.
Note to self: when discussing consonant clusters in a Zoom meeting and nobody can think of a word that ends in a consonant cluster, don’t shout “TEXTS!!!” really loud at the screen. Nobody will hear it as texts.
We have a kerosene heating system because there’s no gas in the village. Two weeks ago we paid £170 to put some oil in the tank. Spoke to our supplier today who told us the same amount of kerosene would now cost us…🥁🥁🥁🥁…£600.
Y’know, when several people are all telling me that I’m wrong about something, I tend to see that as an opportunity- nay, an obligation- to self-reflect. I certainly don’t respond like a 5-year-old by accusing all of them of having poor reading skills.
Could be true, could be bollocks- but it’s Trump, so I’m erring quite comfortably on the side of bollocks for now.
Yay, I got accepted! Starting my DELTA on March 6th. 🙂
my local park is full of hundreds of snow sculptures and someone has been adding museum labels
Both the BAFTAs and the BBC failed in their safeguarding duties towards Michael P Jordan, Delroy Lindo, John Davidson and every black or disabled member of the audience. And then they failed to correct course after the fact. An absolute shitshow of epic proportions.
I really appreciate this TikToker with Tourette syndrome, Shay, for taking the time to educate so many of us (including me) about her disability and coprolalia in light of what happened at the BAFTAs with John Davidson when Michael B. Jordan and Delroy Lindo were on stage.
I learned a lot.
I’ve just submitted my pre-course task for the DELTA. Wish me luck!
What the hell is a K-Pop Demon Hunter anyway? I don’t have kids.
I just learned something completely useless but kind of interesting all the same. A standard 3”1/2 inch floppy disk stored 1.44MB. Red Dead Redemption 2 is approximately 119.4GB in size. So it would take 84,907 floppy disks to run Red Dead Redemption 2.
