Tyson doesn’t like being wet and he doesn’t like when I dry him off. Life is a prison.

Accidentally watched 0.4 seconds of a tornado on TikTok so my fyp will be 90% extreme weather for the next 6 months.

New life goal is to become a therapist and a client will say they don’t understand what gaslighting is and I’ll play It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy and they’ll say wow I finally understand gaslighting thank you so much and then they’ll fire me

Why hot if clouds

Wouldn’t it be so dumb to grow a tiktok following but stop posting right when you start a podcast so you never promote it to any of your followers? That would be sooo silly and dumb

This isn’t targeted I’m just thinking about burnout and how people will be like maybe you should get out more! Meanwhile what I need is to lie on the floor in total silence for so long that someone is tempted to call for a wellness check

I know people have good intentions but sometimes you’ll be like hey I feel like I’m drowning and they’ll go “omg why didn’t you say anything?? Here’s a whistle!”

I’m working 6 days a week and don’t have the energy to run another social media account. Please listen to Clutch My Pearls, there’s a new episode out now everywhere podcasts are found, new episodes every Tuesday, and video episodes are on our YouTube channel. Bonus episodes on Patreon. Thank you.

past me: I don’t think I have ADHD

*accidentally bumps into the wall for the ninth time that week*

i see you posted a joke. here are the facts

My book club is an echo chamber :(

What a great year to skip family thanksgiving

OCD is cool it’s fine it’s whatever, but it won’t let me see a chiropractor which is a bummer because I sincerely think a lot of my problems could be solved if someone just tried to snap my spine like a tree branch.

The smartest dog could drive a car but the smartest cat could do my taxes.

Have you heard of Austin??

kinda worried about something. don’t know what it is yet

BSKY HOT TIP:
i think many of you are not seeing posts featuring video embeds etc as these seem to be toggled OFF by default!

go to Settings, and scroll down to External Media Preferences under Privacy
in there, you'll find a series of toggles! switch on any you would like to see in your feed!

I keep getting new followers and I have no idea what any of your names are so if I know you irl and don’t follow back, please trust that it IS personal and it’s because I DO hate you.

This would genuinely make me stop and get some pizza

That’s all any of them ever had to do and somehow we still don’t have it

I think the only thing I like about this app is Paul F Tompkins

I think the Dead Herman Cain account should be allowed on here

Give us saved drafts ffs please

Also drafts

I’m going to invent cryptocurrency

Call me when they’re in my neighborhood and maybe not even then

Excellent thank you please make all future decisions for me

Could someone please decide what I’m doing with my life? Thanks!

Cat does not care about climate change?? Troubling, a real downer.