I’m proud to announce that all of my books have been long-listed for the Paraclifta Prize 🏆 which is awarded (periodically) to the best novel 📕 about the fictional town of Paraclifta!
#FineLiterature
#CheaperThanGas
#Deserving
Good news: people can buy one of my hilarious books 📚 for less than the price of 4 gallons of gas. ⛽️
CNN says Pentagon spending in September included $9 million on Alaskan king crab and lobster tails and more than $200 million in furniture. But they bought $0 worth of my books. 📕 😬
#ResponsibleSpending
I watched the video and I think it’s clear—this was simply a peaceful protest until the Capitol Police got involved. All of the participants should be pardoned immediately!
#LetThemPlay
I know how you feel. I shan’t be visiting NYC until they give me the Pulitzer Prize that I strongly deserve.
Since I haven’t been to a major entertainment or sporting event in a while, I’ve decided to just voluntarily send some money to Ticketmaster!
That only seems fair.
#fairness
#TicketMoney
I know how he feels. I’ve decided that I will NOT go to NYC until they award me a Pulitzer Prize 📕.
Finally, a good 📕 bio:
When he found out congressmen don’t read any of the letters they receive, Thule Taaffe decided to start writing humorous political satire. Like so many great American authors, Thule now writes for personal pleasure, and for beer money.
#books
#booksky
#GreatAuthors
I hate to brag, but I just learned that the building where I work has been re-named “The Turner Building.” I had nothing to do with this, but I am very honored.
People who get paid for doing nothing:
💥Bad college football coaches 🏈
💥Congressmen ⚖️
#shutdown
#GreatJobs
#Trillionaire$
edition.arkansasonline.com/article/8161...
EXCITING NEWS: The government shutdown will not prevent me from having my first author event! 📕
#books
#HilariousBooks
#TaxDollars
wordsworthbookstore.com/event/2025-1...
Getting vaccinated 💉 is like reading my books📕 — Even if it’s not mandatory, most scientists still believe it’s a good idea.
#Books
#Science
My great-great-great-grandfather, James Kearney Taaffe was born on this day in 1830.
He hated tariffs, but he would’ve freaking loved my books.
#GroovyBooks
ATTENTION:
I disagreed with my marketing team’s “statistics” about my recent book sales. 📕 So, they have all been fired.
#truth
#RealNumbers
#books
Time to get ready for football season.
🏈
PurpleHullPress.com
#booksky
Yum. Thanks.
HELP— I’m looking to ingest more microplastics and would appreciate any advice.
#GoodHealth
#Lifestyle
#Science
Time to get ready for football season.
🏈
PurpleHullPress.com
With the release of my third book,📕I’d like to thank my literary team:
💥 Author— me
💥 Editor— me
💥 Agent— me
💥 Exec. Asst— me
💥 Marketing— N/A
💥 Research— me
💥 Legal— me
🙏 Thanks to all of you heroes.
Thule’s newest book is now available at PurpleHullPress.com
My social media posts are like my novels. 📕📕 Incredibly clever, yet lightly read.
#Authors
#BannedBooks
PurpleHullPress.com
If you take a couple of hours to read my books, you’ll be just as dismayed as I am that they did not win Pulitzer Prizes.
I’m betting on the Kentucky Derby today; but if I don’t win, it’s because of Biden.
#thanksBiden
ATTENTION: Anyone who buys a $500,000 membership in my new club can have one of my books for free.
WARNING: My books contain rapid sequences of satire and sarcasm and may be distracting to sensitive readers.
I’m depressed by all the greed in government 💰, so I’m going to focus more on something that’s not influenced by money — college football! 🏈