wakasa : good job over there, buddy!

benkei : yeah, you’re doing great!

inui : i’m doing everything!

rindou : are you eating dessert for breakfast?

ran : yeah. what did you have for breakfast?

rindou : nothing.

ran : then i’m doing better than you.

chifuyu : it takes a whole lifetime to forget someone.

hanma : you forgot me in the parking lot yesterday.

draken : why would anyone want to hurt mikey?

baji : because they met him?

taiju : oh, so now i’m the bad guy just because i’m a piece of shit?

takeomi : good morning, wa-

wakasa : don’t start, takeomi, okay?

takeomi : i’m sorry, that good morning stuff was way out of line.

inui : what exam you got tomorrow?

koko : communication skills.

inui : oh, you are definitely failing that.

chifuyu : [messaging on snapchat] don’t screenshot me.

hakkai : [screenshots]

chifuyu : kai, come on.

takemichi : i’m not “ghosting” you, i forgot i was alive.

hina : i hope you two have a good explanation for this.

naoto : we have three.

takemichi : pick your favorite!

souya : ah, yes, my train of thought.

souya : or as i like to call it, the anxiety express.

chifuyu : so how did your date go?

kazutora : that depends.

chifuyu : on what?

kazutora : on does chewing your nails count as cannibalism? because if so then i had a very interesting date with a cannibal.

kakucho : the energy company sent us a really nice complimentary letter.

ran : saying what?

kakucho : that our last bill is outstanding.

mucho : yes, that is my circus, and yes, those are my monkeys, but i am NOT on shift yet.

inui : i need koko there.

inui : i need someone to exchange glances with when people inevitably annoy me.

kazutora : would you date a hater?

hanma : god. in a heartbeat.

naoto : he’s violent. he’s selfish. he has no self-control.

takemichi : he’s an american?

ran : is this about me?

mochi : no.

ran : then i’ve lost interest.

senju : nii-san, can i make two requests?

takeomi : what?

senju : stop treating me like a child.

takeomi : what’s the second request?

senju : can i have your card? i want to go to the movies.

kazutora : i called you like ten times. why didn’t you pick up?

hanma : [earlier, dancing to the ringtone]

hanma : [present] i didn’t hear it.

koko : nothing is special about april fools’ day because everyday i’m a fool for you.

inui :

inui : how do i run in heels?

inui : faster than you, that’s for sure.

mikey : [hiding] shh! we have an intruder. takemitchy let them in.

kazutora : when you say “intruder” do you actually mean visitor?

mikey : seems the same either way.

mucho : i feel like i can be myself around you.

sanzu : [confused] you’re weird and quiet around me.

mucho : yes.

senju : don’t cry, waka!

wakasa : wasn’t going to.

senju : that’s because you are very strong.

wakasa : no, it’s because i care very little about people.

sanzu : i have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn’t factor into the solution at least in some way.

hakkai : why do you insist on playing pool if you suck at it?

takemichi : [bending over the table, missing the shot] i like the game, okay?

hakkai : so mikey staring at your ass has nothing to do with it?

takemichi : [missing another shot] not at all.

ran : what game are you playing?

nahoya : the newest pokémon, it just released.

ran : pokémon? that’s a bit shit.

nahoya : no, you’re a bit shit.

senju : normalize booing family members during arguments.

mikey : [nods in agreement]

shion : [screaming] YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!

rindou : what-

shion : YOU’RE ESSENTIAL TO MY EXISTENCE!

rindou : why are you screaming?!

shion : I HAVE DIFFICULTY EXPRESSING MYSELF! IT HELPS TO SAY SENTIMENTAL THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE TONE!

rindou :

shion : I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!