The amount of my own hair that I just removed from the brush roll of my vacuum needs to be studied by scientists

My ex was logged into my stuff until recently and I was fine with it! But then he said something mean to me so I changed my passwords 😈 I say go for it and if they’re not cool with it, they can change their passwords!!

Looks like I’m going to Taco Bell today

My Old Ass…

Just had a friend call me to thank me for recommending a movie because she just watched it and loved it….is this what winning the lottery feels like

My mom and I don’t have a lot of similar interests, but when it comes to a new Dwayne the rock Johnson movie, we’re texting each other like “yesss!!!!”

Wait I didn’t scroll up in the conversation NEVERMIND I just saw the pic you sent and was like…..wth….

Omg ok I was like does mark know that is not a peloton

Only 3 trailers before Anora and I had to hide my eyes during two of them. we shouldn’t have to live like this!!!

I need everyone to sign my petition that bans scary movie trailers from playing when you’re not seated to see a scary movie

I listened to the Britney Spears memoir at 1.5x speed while the dentist drilled into my mouth for almost two hours. I think making insane choices is the best part of living ❤️