Q: What did the sentient toy astronaut who was also a big fan of the album Lemonade say?
A: To infinity and Beyoncé
(I am just so sorry, it popped into my head so it now must trouble yours)
didn't you put your phone in the pool because it was too hot or something?
Good night, Hookland.
“CONAN HOLDS YOUR PRIVACY SACRED Our encampment processes personal data, wielding the power as cautiously as Conan wields his sword. Should you wish to cover your footsteps and forbid us from sharing your secrets, strike at the 'I wish to cloak my presence' rune. I WISH TO CLOAK MY PRESENCE”
Completely tossed at the official conan the barbarian website’s cookie notification window.
dhuartson: Don't let anyone talk you out of spending $15 on a new hobby. That $50 will be the best $400 you ever spent.
This is not wrong.
Got talking to a man on the tube yesterday. He was making a game. He mentioned using AI. I told him that I made a game! A 13.5k word choose your own adventure. He asked if I used AI for that.
Obviously, I said no, and that I thought LLM AI was anathema to anything creative.
Okay anyway this is no joke, Chris is spending his mornings whimsically cutting out little cards and rounding off the corners and drawing dragons and portraits and whatever on them just to tuck them into all orders for a treat. They are delightful and precious.
OH MY GOD I FINALLY GOT A SHOT OF A LEAST BITTERN!
These things are incredibly hard to even spot, much less photograph.
Amazing bird walk this morning.
Pull it!
impossible to overstate how poisonous this shit is. dudes on the street smiling and waving at your toddler are an indicator of a happy and functional community
The albums Dangerous, Thriller and Bad.
Two out of three ain’t bad.
The phrase, "Meeting in progress" in angular 3D bubble writing in an assortment of colours,with correctly-lit shading. It has been laminated.
And related homes! My daughter made me this for my office/study door.
Bubble writing is also still alive and well in 2026 primary schools!
The Gnu Image Manipulation Programme - it's more a free Photoshop alternative than anything but good enough for my amateur needs.
LibreOffice is a more or less full office suite.
And Canva probably meets your "simple" needs...
I've used LibreOffice and GIMP for similar - LibraOffice is probably the easier of the two. I know a lot of people use Canva (an online service).
Two hooded figures with lamps approach a moonlit, isolated cottage. A woman answers the door. We have come for the child, says the hooded figure So soon? she asks It is time, says the hooded figure. The woman is distraught. We should never have got him a library card! What is done cannot be undone, says the hooded figure We couldn’t see the harm! We just wanted him to enjoy reading! For most, it ends there, says the hooded figure, turning away and walking into the wilderness Oh lord, What have I done! says the woman, the child walks past her and out into the darkness with them. Do not cry mother. I am a writer now.
my latest books cartoon for @theguardian.com
hey did you know that before Italy had potatoes, gnocchi were made with cheese?
we should bring that back
A screen capture of a post by John De La Haye from 18 April 2014, saying: I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery. I've had it right up to here with them.
Found this old joke in my FB memories and thought it was too good not to share.
Fish and chipocrites
Utterly Betrayed The Rt Hon. Ralph St John Cholmondley having moped around glolmondley for three weeks in Belvoir with glandular felvoir, decided to surprise his fiancé in Frome. Bursting into the rome, he found her cavorting with an awick from Hawick (via Worcester), whose close attentions had left her all of a florcester. His fiancé, who hailed from Beaulieu, begged him not to get upset undeaulieu, as Ralph stared at them, boggle-eyed. Things aren’t how they look, she cried. Brian Bilston
Today’s poem is called ‘Utterly Betrayed’.
Congratulations! That's a massive achievement.
Most people know this skeletal, impressionistic song from the lumpen Clapton version, which is like knowing Picasso's Guernica from a rendition made out of Lego.
The new Win11 pop-up noise has been triggering this bloody ear worm all day
From the Gospel According to Saint Eric.
"The next day was Sunday again.
The caterpillar ate through one nice leaf,
and after that he felt better."
I'm glad he's finally got some body to hang out with.
No problem, it's great stuff.
FFS. Nothing takes me out of a film faster than failure to even do the most basic research. The Statue of Liberty is on an ISLAND. It is not buried in a jaunty angle in the sand.
