I’m working on my third one of the night as we speak

It’s Easter Sunday, and the only thing that “is risen” is the cost of gas and my blood pressure.

Homie texted me again today so I’m going with a second loan site…the shadiest multi-bank page I can find

Straight signing up every spam texter I’ve had today for loans 🥰 it’s never too late to choose violence

Why it so bitey tho 😭

“gender is what’s in your pants”

Then I am uhh…whatever this fuckin thing is

My mother acts like she understands why I refuse to bring my children to visit her for any holiday, placing the burden of travel on her for each and every one. She understands passing privilege, but misses the principle behind not wanting to be anywhere remotely CLOSE to Florida.

Umamusume screenshot of Tazuna asking “so you want to know about the TS climax?”

Ma’am. Ma’am. Ma’am. We just met. This is a little sudden.

*sobs in dysfunctional (always on full blast) sweat glands*

I’m not crying that’s just my body saying “help me”

Don’t you just love it when the trash takes itself out? 🥰

Perfected the corprogothlez look, this bitch got her CGL

80s singer Thomas Dolby on raising queer kids: "the eldest is trans, the middle is a lesbian, and the youngest is a drummer"

The 3 genders

Just go fill flatbeds at the white house, they have an abundance of bullshit there and are already handing it out for free

Crab Just Happy To Be In Bucket With All His Friends

Crab Just Happy To Be In Bucket With All His Friends theonion.com/crab-just-happy-to-be-in...

*beats self in protest*

How the hell was it 38 last week and 90 today? Fml I’m never gonna get my garden replanted with this yoyo bs

You’re giving me too much credit if you think remember everyone I see posting anti-trans bs on the internet. And I genuinely don’t care how you feel, knowing you support her.

It means your friend posted something perpetuating heinous transphobia and can enjoy the life they built for themselves. Anyone that supports them, too.

The context is lost since the original post was deleted, but yeah. Full chest, anyone that hates on trans people the way the original post was about did can reap what they’ve sown. Trans or cis.

The original post was about someone wanting to gatekeep transition under the guise of the person “not deserving it” like it’s a privilege and not a right.

Buuuut the person in question was a legit POS self-loather and my response was venomously tongue-in-cheek.

I’m a sucker for Voodoos for that reason…that high ABV and taste combined have led to some pretty bad decisions on my part heh

Get Lou Bega to drop the forbidden Mambo no. Six while you’re at it, make this year kill every last one of us (in a fun way)

I’m gonna invent five loco

I don’t get to share this irl because living undercover sucks but

I just celebrated my 7th Penisn’t anniversary

Iykyk

“This is a xtian war”

Ok lemme off this floating piss tank I ain’t one of y’all

If you told me that as i was being dragged into someone else’s fight you’d get deleted first wtf go away

A plate of steak frites with eggs over easy with a fat biscuit on top and a mimosa flight in the background

Good girls get good treats 🥰

How come a sitting president can sue an individual, but an individual cannot sue a sitting president?

I’m seeing a lot of contracting gigs getting filled in the near future 😂

The gd McRib.

I said what I said.