Going to bed pissed at 4am instead of having to go for a piss at 4am.

Have a look on YouTube for the legendary (on Tyneside) "get off the metro now". Ok, that's Percy Main, but near enough Howdon.

Ihad two punctures on there I a few weeks after the residents of Howdon (as in Howdon Aldi Death Queue) had their weekly bottle smashing festival. Also somebody emptied a pot of white paint over the path & I thought, nah, must be dry & cycled through it. It wasn't dry.

Cameron? He didn't have to resign and wasn't forced to.

I was there this morning. Stopped off on my bike ride to work and had a coffee.

Jesmond Dene. Gifted by Lord Armstrong to Newcastle. Who says arms dealers are bad people?

"I've got this idea for a bike stand"
"Sheffield stands?"
"No, it's kind of out of the box thinking, and..."
"Sheffield stands"
"No, more arty than that, sort of...
"Sheffield stands"
"No, like an installation..."
"Sheffield stands"
"Well..."
"Sheffield stands"
"Er..."
"Sheffield stands"

I think it's one of the Nine Streets in Amsterdam. Not pedestrianised, but not a good place for cars.

Suspect Kingston Park, Callerton and Northumberland Park being pretty full is people from out in the sticks (you know, like Cramlington and Ponteland and that) parking and riding for their day out in the big city.

Which is wrong, IMO. It's regressive & subsidises people who can afford cars at the expense of the NHS budget. The surgeon on 150k has the NHS paying for him to park his Jag for free, the porter on 25k pays £1000pa for the bus.

I remember they changed the Sunday parking rules on Barrack Road before the start of one season. First Sunday match, a long row of cars, all with tickets on them (including my brother's. Tee hee).

It's also right next to a 52,000 seat football stadium.

He goes past my house in that book. I mean, he doesn't mention it's my house, but he does go past it.

There do seem to be a lot of these groups. They absolutely 100% support safer streets, cycling & clean air, as long as it doesn't affect them at all. It's a hill they're prepared to die on. Well, as long as they can drive their 4x4 up it and park at the top.

Had one the other day which I didn't report because the woman driving stopped to apologise. First time that's ever happened to me. Maybe she saw the camera, but it seemed sincere.

No no no no no no no no no no no no there's no limits.

I was at school with a Shona Dick.

Where I live, people in cars jam up the whole city twice a day. Even ambulances often can't get past. If they didn't insist on taking a sofa, two armchairs and a tonne of metal with them everywhere they go, the rest of us would get around much more quickly. Seems like a plan, eh?

You know traffic is you, yes? You're not "stuck in traffic" or "held up in traffic", you *are* traffic. It's not bikes holding up traffic, it's you.

Aye. Seems to be a lot of them this year. Quite like the black ones with a big white stripe. Seems appropriate.

Terrible traffic cycling through Newcastle this morning

Ramones. Judy is a Punk, Suzy is a Headbanger, and Sheena is a Punk Rocker. Bit of a theme there.

That was genius. No idea if it's true, but I got told by a journalist at the Scotsman that it was originally thought up on a drunken night for if Ally McCoist ever scored a couple of goals in a Rangers - Celtic match.

I heard she's volunteered for the first manned trip to the Sun, as long as they go at night when it's switched off.

I once saw someone taking a selfie in front of the ovens at Auschwitz.

Mentioned this before: Once saw a traffic warden on Acorn Road talking to a van driver who'd parked in a disabled space - said "and when only nipping in to Greggs for a bacon sarnie is a disability, you'll be ok to park here". We need more of that traffic warden.

Tune. Bloody autocorrect

Am I the only one who sang "onshore, offshore, patriotic duty" to the time of the Wombles theme?

A pedant writes: 3.8 litres per US gallon.

Apparently Brazil has the world's highest number of lethally poisonous things. So another one to cross off.