Today is National Thesaurus Day.

Personally, we find these made-up holidays contemptible, abhorrent, nauseating, repugnant, and unpalatable.

Who backs up Malik?

‘82

A map showing a town called Deer Park next to a town called Kildeer

Easy choice if you're a deer deciding where to buy a house

I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but the orcas now have two F/A-18 Hornets

Trump Opens Up Nation’s Aquariums To Commercial Fishing WASHINGTON—Claiming that preservation efforts had impeded U.S. seafood production for far too long, President Donald Trump announced Wednesday that he had opened up the nation’s aquariums to commercia...

Trump Opens Up Nation’s Aquariums To Commercial Fishing

A drawing of a perfect phone that only has three buttons on it, one of them says IS HE DEAD one of them says AM I BROKE and the other one says RELAXING PUZZLE GAME

I invented a new phone to help save time in the morning

Trump admin claims:

Thursday: Abrego Garcia is a top MS-13 terrorist
Friday: Abrego Garcia killed JFK
Saturday: Abrego Garcia is the head of ISIS
Sunday: Abrego Garcia piloted all 3 planes on 9/11
Monday: Abrego Garcia ran the Fyre Festival
Tuesday: Abrego Garcia beat Riley Gaines at a swim meet

Sharing an excerpt of facebook screenshot of Amanda Gailey: As someone who uses Signal every day, I need to explain how totally committed to being an absolute dumbass multiple people had to be in order for this security leak to happen. Okay, so in Signal if you want to talk to multiple people you have to create a group and give it a name, for example "JD Vance Humps His Couch." You then add people from your contacts to the group. If you are a competent user of Signal, you can then restrict the permissions so that only designated admins can add people. If you are an absolute dipshit whose only job qualification is pwning the libs on Twitter, you would create a group about war plans and not know about or activate this functionality. If you are in a group and are allowed to add members, either because you are an admin or because the admin was raised on lead paint milkshakes, you then must do the following to add someone: Click on "JD Vance Humps His Couch" Scroll down to "Add Members." Select one or more people from your phone's contact list. Click "Update" Confirm that yes, you want to add that member. This is impossible to do accidentally. Then, once you have gone through the multi-step process of adding a member, an announcement appears on the screen for literally everyone in the group to see: "JD Vance Has Added Chairry to the Group." This sentence is a line in a single-stream text thread and if anyone is reading their messages they cannot miss it. (If they are not reading their messages, one might wonder why they have been included on the chat to begin with.) At this point, anyone can say in the chat or privately, Hey JD, why are you adding the bedroom-eyed plush chair from Pee-Wee's Playhouse to our chat about your upholstery problem? Yet nobody in the war bro chat said a thing about the new member added to the group.

This is art. 🤗

I’d like to announce my forthcoming US history book, covering a decisive but tumultuous era in that country’s history, titled “The trade policies of the United States: 10:30 am to 1:30 pm on Friday, March 7, 2025” It will be 400 pages.

Social media is fun because you basically just talk to yourself and sometimes a stranger replies to yell at you about why you’re wrong

you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.

Heard it’s your bday, enjoy your day!

*her

Do you still brew your own beer?