Newspaper headline, "WE WANT SAMUEL JOHNSON"

GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT

This Is Just To Say I have turned off the Al features that were in the update and which you were probably hoping to monetize Fuck you they were stupid so unnecessary and so annoying 4:35 PM • Apr 20, 2026 1.4K reposts 21 quotes

... while sipping a tasty beer.

It’s Vertigo for me. Any time I chance see a little bit of Vertigo I have to sit down and watch the rest, even though I’ve seen it a scrillion times.

Congratulations to @theonion.com , and good luck turning a site that’s a parody of itself into a parody of itself!

Genuinely good news is so rare these days. Savor it.

Erase your hard drive and put your feet up for thirty years! Teach from the same yellowing notes until 2050! Resign from all committees! Become dead wood!

(The heartiest of congratulations.)

Photo of Bono and The Edge from U2

We are also building impact, advancing innovation, and amplifying edges. Edging impact, innovating buildings, and impacting advances. Inviting budgies, advanced eddies, and involuntary amplifiers. Whatever.

Rutgers logo Office of the President Rutgers Edge Newsletter Rutgers President Tate's "The Rutgers Edge" Newsletter Advancing Impact. Amplifying Innovation. Building the Edge. March 25, 2026 Issue EDGE INSIGHT

You'll be relieved to learn Rutgers is advancing impact, amplifying innovation, and building the edge.

Sauron: Consulting Detective, the worst Tolkien spin-off yet

Germany: Neighbor attacked for pounding schnitzel too loudly Police in southern Germany were called in to settle a schnitzel dispute that had turned violent, with a man reportedly slapping his neighbor for pounding his schnitzel too loudly.

Puzzling over whether “pounding the schnitzel” is a euphemism for something.

AccuWeather Lawrence Township, NJ Freeze Warning 30° RealFeel° 36°

Great news! Rutgers turned the heat off last week, and the AC is working at peak efficiency!

He's gonna get a second FIFA award just for solving this war so many times

Why, that's almost as many terrorist attacks thwarted as his boss has ended wars! (It's a lot easier to run up your numbers if you're allowed to count imaginary things.)

Anyone working in history of comedy/satire, television, modern British politics - there's a fully funded PhD to research the Spitting Image archive @theul.bsky.social, with supervision at Exeter Uni. All disciplines considered, pls do share widely.
www.exeter.ac.uk/study/fundin...

The Strait of Hormuz Q The Strait of Hormuz 5.0 * Shipping Channel Overview Reviews About Directions 囗 Save Nearby Send to phone Share Monday 9:30 AM - 4:00 PM Tuesday 9:30 AM - 4:00 PM Wednesday 9:30 AM - 4:00 PM Thursday 9:30 AM - 4:00 PM Friday 9:30 AM - 4:00 PM Saturday Closed Sunday Closed Open - Closes 4:00 PM Suggest an edit

Bottle of wine from 1945 sells for a record-breaking $812,500 By Ben Hooper MARCH 31, 2026 / 2:57 PM RARE DRO WINES ACQUIRED FROM THE PERSONAL CELLAR OF Robert Drouhin BEAUNE FRANCE

Probably should have checked the amount of my royalty BEFORE I bought the wine.

And every message generates two or three more asking you to rate the transaction.

My students have trouble imagining such a time ever existed.

Even though the 2020s give us a steady stream of reasons to rant that way.

Note that I’m entitled to only 50% of that £3.10.

Royalty statement showing income of £3.86.

I know you little people are freaking out about the price hikes and economic slowdown caused by the war in Iran, but over here it’s quarterly royalty-statement day and I’m in the chips.

I see no problems.

By the geniuses who brought you Jersey Mike’s!

Lenders BAGELS French Toast Refrigerated Lender's French Toast Flavored Bagels allow you to indulge in the sweet cinnamon flavor of French toast in a convenient, perfectly portioned, mess-free bagel. No syrup needed! Buy Now

Gimme some o’ that straight-out-of-the-shtetl authenticity that only big corporations can deliver!

Big Money Is Betting on Bagels High-quality bagels were once the sole domain of a few major cities. Investors believe they can take the breakfast staple nationwide. Listen - 8:44 min By Julia Moskin April 14, 2026 In the last decade, investment firms like Blackstone and Bain Capital have acquired stakes in many of America's favorite foods. They vacuumed up big chunks of the fast food business, taking control of chains like Dunkin', Popeyes and Burger King and funding growth for regional brands like Jersey Mike's and Prince Street Pizza. High-quality bagels, with their finicky baking process, have always

Hooray! EVERYTHING gets better when venture capitalists take over!

... Jeanine Pirro ...

And imagined the others.

Q jane austen mary shelley All Images Videos Shopping News Al Overview +1: Jane Austen and Mary Shelley were both famous female novelists in the early 19th century. They shared a mother, Mary Wollstonecraft, who wrote The Vindication of the Rights of Women. ® Connections between Jane Austen and Mary Shelley • Shared mother: Austen and Shelley were both daughters of Mary Wollstonecraft. ® • Possible influence: Austen may have been influenced by Wollstonecraft's work, but she didn't use quotation marks to avoid identifying with Wollstonecraft. ® • Works that combine the two

My comment was a curt "Huge if true."

Hegseth Borrows Violent Prayer from ‘Pulp Fiction’ to Bless Iran War at April Pentagon Worship Service For the second month in a row, Pete Hegseth, who likes to call himself “secretary of war,” read a violent prayer — that echoes a scene in the Quentin Tarantino film Pulp Fiction — during a worship ser...

And now bow your heads for a reading from the Epistle to the Muthafuckas....