Listened to a Conan the Barbarian audiobook for the first time and what do you mean he fucks like a weighted blanket

Got hired on for next school year so at least I can relax about that.

Depression is kicking my ass out of nowhere ahahaha

“What have you been working on lately?”
“Oh just doing banishing spells to remove the forces in my life that clipped my wings. Also cultivating the light within me since it’s been reduced to a dull flame despite once being a shining beacon.”

Got a book, thinking it would be a novel.
It is not, and the second book has yet to be released.
Why does this keep happening to me. 🫠

I wonder how many other readers have had a decline in client readings since the popularization of AI.

Just found out I lost a long-time tarot client to ChatGPT I am absolutely livid.

Does this mother fucker not know who Marcus Aurelius was?

Watching the big game (Markiplier’s play through of Resident Evil: Requiem)

“Actually I am high. Just a little bit.”

“Oh you know, John Dee and Ed Kemper.” Raven isn’t even high right now what the fuck even was that

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but pedophilia isn’t rare and it isn’t just committed by the rich and powerful.
1/4 girls and 1/20 boys under 10 have been sexually abused.
Prevention starts with awareness. Be a safe person for survivors to talk to. Learn what to look out for.

And that’s just the ripple effect that we faced at a public level. That doesn’t even begin to touch the atrocities that so many were subjected to at the hands of these horrible people, including the fucking president. This entire country is so beyond fucked.

And now we’re adults and all this demented shit is unraveling and -despite all that- many of us still can’t break away from the idea that if we don’t adhere to these pedophilic beauty standards that we’re nothing because we’re brainwashed and it’s so deeply fucking sickening.

What this really boils down to is that these horrifyingly powerful perverts were able to design and orchestrate an entire culture that had almost every child in the country unwittingly engaging in their fetish. This is possibly the largest sexual violation in the history of the world.

Our entire culture builds up this idea that women are only valuable if they look like children because -wealthy men with disgusting paraphilias- have dictated the rules for the better part of the last 20 years. They manipulated culture to suit their sick fetish for abuse.

So now I’m 32. My metabolism is slower, I have a belly, I have body and facial hair, I have fine lines between my brows. I’m growing into my age and I’ve been conditioned my entire life to believe that reaching this point is merely the beginning of the end.

Like okay, I was taught from my lived childhood experience that my body was an object to be used by men. Then I went on to grow up in a culture that more or less reaffirmed this unconsciously because of creeps who get off on the kind of abuse that shaped me.

Late night thoughts about trauma and the Epstein files:
So realizing that the beauty standards I’ve wrestled with my entire life have been dictated by wealthy pedophiles is upsetting. This paired with being a victim of childhood SA is doubly challenging.

It’s pure synchronicity, and it reminds me of how present Hekate really is in my life. Whenever I find myself doubting or questioning my work, this practice reminds me that the work is real and vital.

Currently my Deipnon practice consists of a ritual to call Hekate, a personal working of magic, and then reading a chapter of Entering Hekate’s Cave.
It is absolutely bananas how every month the chapter I read is shockingly relevant to the internal processes I’m going through.

That said, though, I think the resets are a good reminder of what’s working. What do I keep up with, and what can I let go of to make room for practices that will stick.
I know I have weekly practices that I can maintain. Daily is another beast.

After initiating into my old coven I’m realizing that in my personal practice it’s vital that I hit another reset.
It’s almost disheartening, because I feel like this reset is something I find myself coming back to over and over again.

Weirdly enough tho I am all about clowning with these kids today.

Phentermine got me dizzy at work.

So now I need to unlearn this idea that my support needs are too much but how do I even begin to unpack that

Long story short I’ve developed a fear of asking for more than a certain threshold of support from others because I am afraid it will destroy my relationships with them or gravely, devastatingly worse things I don’t dare mention.

Realized something was a lot more traumatic than I had previously acknowledged lol lmao hahaha

Somebody tell Raven to let me get 10 quail.