Wiggle A Phone Like You Are On Fucking Babestation It's 3:00PM

Wear Your Aunt's Labia As A Fetching 1920s Style Hat It's 2:00PM

Shit Your Pants And Pretend You're A Toddler Again It's 1:00PM

Darth Vader's Codpiece It's 12:00PM

Mushrooms: Satan's Infected Heammeroids. It's 11:00AM

Clagnut Tapas! It's 10:00AM

Dogging Related Skin Injuries With John Nettles And Jakki Brambles It's 9:00AM

Hang Your Nan's Knickers On The Church Doorknocker It's 8:00AM

Dame Edna's Sweaty Ballsack It's 7:00AM

Cheesy Penis Breath It's 6:00AM

So Much Blood In Your Cum It Looks Like Raspberry Ripple It's 5:00AM

Bending Backwards So You Can Sniff Your Own Asshole It's 4:00AM

Quick, Robin, To The Wank Cave! It's 3:00AM

Her Name Is Rio And She Likes To Suck My Gland It's 2:00AM

Follow Through In The Shower Because You Thought That Fart Was Safe It's 1:00AM

Beth From Brookside's Televised Lesbian Kiss It's 12:00AM

Cunty Bollocks. It's 11:00PM

Yes, The Mayonnaise In The Mcdonalds Mcchicken Sandwich You Had For Lunch Tastes Funny. That's Because It's My Bastarding Spunk It's 10:00PM

A Shitty Sock, Hanging Loosely Off A Cock It's 9:00PM

Cum On Donald Trump's Face And Make The Fake Tan Run It's 8:00PM

Shit In A Nutella Jar And Serve It To Grandpa It's 7:00PM

Boris And Keir Sitting In A Tree, F. I. S. T. I. N. G. It's 6:00PM

Fuck A Duck It's 5:00PM

Scrape Down My Cock And Cook Up A Fondue It's 4:00PM

Post A 2 Litre Bottle Of Your Own Semen To Every Resident Of Birmingham It's 3:00PM

Change Your House Number To 69 And Give It The Name "Felching Cottage" It's 2:00PM

Bugger Me Gently It's 1:00PM

Everybody Grab Your Dicks And Your Pricks And Dance Around Like Dipshits It's 12:00PM

Oh Fuck Off And Die It's 11:00AM

Trevor Macdonald's Turkey Twizzler Gonads It's 10:00AM