Not our embassy, though. You can ignore it. Nothing interesting happening there. 😇

Kash Patel radiating big Wang Lijun vibes. Keep an eye on the embassies, American friends.

A “truth social” post from Donald Trump that reads: Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump The out of control Trump Hating, Washington, D.C. District Court Judge, who doesn't want to accept a $400 Million Dollar GIFT of one of the most beautiful Ballrooms anywhere in the World, desperately needed by the White House and its future Presidents (Due to time constraints, I will barely get to use it!), wants me to build the "underground" portion of the Ballroom, without the "above ground" portion, but the underground doesn't work, isn't necessary, and would indeed be useless, without the above ground sections. The underground portion is wedded to, and serves, the upper portion, including the Bomb Shelters, a State of the Art Hospital and Medical Facilities, Protective Partitioning, Top Secret Military Installations, Structures, and Equipment, Protective Missile Resistant Steel, Columns, Roofs, and Beams, Drone Proof Ceilings and Roofs, Military Grade Venting, and Bullet, Ballistic, and Blast Proof Glass. It's all tied together as one big, expensive, and very complex unit, which is vital for National Security and Military Operations of the United States of America! The Judge's decision, which doesn't even discuss the vital subject of STANDING, of which the plaintiff has none, severely jeopardizes the lives and welfare of the people who work, and will be working, at the White House - including all future Presidents of the United States, and their families. President DONALD J. TRUMP 1.18k ReTruths 3.61k Likes Apr 16, 2026 at 1:05 PM

“Military grade venting” is what happens to us when we eat too much Guizhou cuisine.

A very sad portrait of two capitalist losers in blue suits.

JD Vance widely considered “most influential” American Vice President.

A rendering of a white triumphal arch against a blue sky dappled with clouds. A gold statue of Winged Victory stands astride the arch. Twin portraits of Comrade Xi Jinping gaze serenely from the columns on either side, underscoring that victory belongs to the Party alone. Across the top of the arch is a red banner declaring in Chinese, "Long Live the Chinese Communist Party." It is truly a monument to spire men to greatness and bring women to tears. Or maybe the other way around. We're not really sure.

BREAKING: President Trump unveils "triumphal arch" design for US capital of Washington, DC.

Donald J. Trump ® + @realDonaldTrump The Wall Street Journal, one of the worst and most inaccurate "Editorial Boards" in the World, stated that I "declared premature victory in Iran." Actually, it is a Victory, and there's nothing "premature" about it! Because of me, IRAN WILL NEVER HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON and, very quickly, you'll see Oil start flowing, with or without the help of Iran and, to me, it makes no difference, either way. The Wall Street Journal will, as usual, live to eat their words. They are always quick to criticize, but never to admit when they're wrong, which is most of the time! President DONALD J. TRUMP 53 ReTruths 195 Likes 4/9/26, 2:28 PM

Our compounding pharmacies make effective medications for premature victory. Fax us for a price list. No prescription required!

Glad to hear it! How are the opium prices these days?

Honestly, this is what we’ve always called it around the office.

Pam Bondi is a Great American Patriot and a loyal friend, who faithfully served as my Attorney General over the past year. Pam did a tremendous job overseeing a massive crackdown in Crime across our Country, with Murders plummeting to their lowest level since 1900. We love Pam, and she will be transitioning to a much needed and important new job in the private sector, to be announced at a date in the near future, and our Deputy Attorney General, and a very talented and respected Legal Mind, Todd Blanche, will step in to serve as Acting Attorney General. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP 275 ReTruths 864 Likes Apr 02, 2026, 10:17 AM

“Important new job in the private sector” is a euphemism for “remanded to a black prison,” right? Like when we say “invited for tea” but mean “interrogated.”

A cover for arch-capitalist rag The Economist, featuring a blurry Donald Trump in the foreground, bloviating through a cavernously open mouth, and, in the background, a serene and measured comrade Xi Jinping, smiling faintly. The headline is: “Never interrupt your enemy when he’s making a mistake.”

We’re reluctant to say this about capitalist propaganda organ The Economist, but…

Fact check: True.

The cover of the book “Ruthless Political Purges for Dummies.” Subtitled, “North American Political Edition.” Bullet points on the cover are: Silence your enemies; intimidate your allies; enjoy the piteous wails; enforce political compliance.

Copies still available! Order today!

Why mortgage your own credibility as paramount leader? Send commissar Miller to intimidate the justices. That way, if they rule against you, you have another convenient layer to purge.

A large plastic jug of unfathomably cheap liquor bracketed by the slogan: "When the shit hits the fan, there's always Laobaigan!" To drink such liquor, one must truly be at the end of joy and hope. You have failed irredeemably and have no choice to take solace in the loving embrace of white spirit oblivion. Fare thee well, traveler!

SPONSOR MESSAGE:

Ass kicked by Iran? Laobaigan!

Remember: "When the shit hits the fan, there's always Laobaigan!"™

American friends strongly urged to never mention Sun Tzu again.

OFFICIAL: Sarcastic posts discouraged ahead of planned China-US summit. The error is regretted.

The Bored of Peace.

This is false consciousness. Call us when it shows signs of socialism.

NEWS ANALYSIS: Imperialist warmongers mongering imperialist war.

Amateur stuff. Back in the Hu Jintao days we had a toilet that flushed Wuliangye.

EXPERTS: When you have real power, the degenerate sex island comes to you.

So-called "March for billionaires" not observed in People's Republic of China.

EXPERTS: “Melania“ documentary not flattering enough.

OFFICIAL: US central government urged to respect human rights in restive northern province of Minnesota.

OFFICIAL: US central government urged to respect human rights in restive northern province of Minnesota.

Honestly, respect for comrade Rodriguez. She played the imperialists like a cheap erhu and cashiered her predecessor so hard that the fleas in his prison cell are embarrassed to be seen with him.

Why haven’t these auditoriums been booked out by the Party for mandatory elementary school group viewings? Isn’t that what the school busses are for? Do the Americans know nothing of the film business?

American friends, we have a list of islands that we covet and a list of islands that we despise and Greenland is not top-ten on either.