I told a teammate I start every Claude interaction with “yo waddup bitch” and now there’s a 2hr prompt training on our team calendar. Fuck.

The streaming apps completely dropped the ball on 4/20 content this year.

You’re telling me not one of you has COSMOS: A SPACETIME ODYSSEY???? @neildegrassetyson.com they did you dirty

HBD to me 🥰

Turned on NBC. They talked about “President tipping a DoorDash driver $100”.

This woman participated in GOP ads before playing other roles. There is no DoorDash deliveries to the Oval Office. Please exercise proper judgement when consuming news.

Well the Blackhawks are awful and none of the players even kissed so really a waste of a Monday night but work paid so whatever I guess

This is why they don’t want sex ed btw

Oh my god

I’m so fucked cause I took the “live fast, die young” approach to my twenties, while you all were perfecting your skincare routines and eating healthy

Friendly reminder that the wealthiest 1% hold 50% of all stocks, the top 10% hold 87% of the total value in the market, and we mortals are killing ourselves at the email factory just to funnel more money upwards ❤️

Can’t even say her name. A total punk ass. Per usual.

On today’s episode of “If Obama Did That”

Happy Easter, praise be to Allah!

Geno stays a sore loser. Every single time he throws a hissy.

Zara doesn’t need the engagement so I truly wonder why on earth you’d wanna kick this hornets nest it’s not worth the Swiftie think-pieces and 3 weeks of discourse that follow

March was great if you ignore the unrelenting horrors and focus on my incredibly average running career

patrick star and spongebob squarepants are jumping in the air in front of a television . ALT: patrick star and spongebob squarepants are jumping in the air in front of a television .

Wait we won?!?

in the office on a friday ignoring emails. god forbid a man curate his slutty little summer running wardrobe in peace

Welp

Shirtless runner season is back 🥹

My marathon singlet arrived and I felt cute thank you for your attention to this matter

I don’t appreciate the resurgence of cargo or carpenter pants 😒

Is anyone stupid enough to believe Elon wants a “post-scarcity economy”?

Its 9:30am

The Secretary of Defense keeps going out there and saying the United States is waging a Christian holy war and it is somehow not registering as a career- and administration-ending scandal

I just think that teenagers shouldn’t be walking around downtown drinking Everclear and juice from a water jug, CPD was right for confiscating them, and it’s weird for adults to think that’s cool.

Every time there’s a citywide event the loop becomes a daycare center for suburban teens like gtfo

Senator Tuberville on x writing a response to the @endwokeness account Original tweet from @EndWokeness - “less than 25 years apart” Image 1 - the twin towers as they are hit by a the planes on 9/11/2001 Image 2 - Mayor Mamdani sitting on a prayer rug while hosting an Iftar at city hall Quote tweet from Senator Tuberville - “the enemy is inside the gates.”

Let there be as much outrage from politicians in Washington when kids go hungry as there is when I break bread with New Yorkers.

Men may disappoint but the Lincoln Park Conservatory’s spring flower show never will

Yeah bc 40% of the country is actively rooting for Armageddon. They actually believe Jesus is coming on the back of a bald eagle. Go to any American evangelical church. That’s the whole point.

This is real life to them. We have to stop believing these crackpots will suddenly grow empathy.

a man with a mustache is writing on a piece of paper in front of a sign that says yell makes dogs happy ALT: a man with a mustache is writing on a piece of paper in front of a sign that says yell makes dogs happy

Triggering my racist suburban liberal coworkers by telling them I take public transportation every day and it’s my primary mode of transit.

They’re always so shocked. Gets em every time. Someone literally said “those people”. Note taken!